I’m sure you read the title of this article and you’re thinking to yourself,
“Are you serious?
Why would anyone desire to be single?”
I know that desiring to be single goes against EVERYTHING we’ve been spoon-fed about relationships and dating throughout our lives, but hear me out.
Marriage and living happily ever after should never be the finish line, end goal or the top of the mountain…
…being SINGLE should!
It doesn’t matter if you’re married, engaged, dating or running free through the world, I firmly believe that you should desire to be single.
Now before you call me crazy, or other unseemly names, allow me to share with you what’s wrong with the way most people think about being single. Then let me share something with you that completely changed my perspective on being single.
To start, single is defined by Merriam-Webster as:
Not married or not having a serious romantic relationship with someone.
I have come to realize and firmly believe that this is an incomplete definition.
It’s a definition that only looks at one aspect of the word, but consequently, it’s the definition that primarily comes to mind when thinking about the word single.
Even more disturbing is the concept of single that has stemmed from this definition and been embraced by millions, perhaps even billions of people.
I’m confident enough to say that you know someone or have known someone who believes that being single is the same thing as being alone.
Tell me I’m lying…I dare you!
However, I’m not here to harp on what’s wrong with the way you or others may currently perceive being single.
My only objective is to provide you with a new perspective…THE perspective that changed the way I view being single completely.
It was none other than Dr. Myles Munroe who opened my eyes to the complete definition of the word single:
To be separate, unique and whole.
What I love most about this definition is that it focuses on the individual and not just a relationship status.
Your singleness has so much depth to it and should never be constrained by the status of your intimate relationships.
Each of the three components that make up our singleness, as individuals, has significance.
Here is how I personally interpret and define each aspect of my singleness:
Being separate represents my freedom from the influence of others.
Being aware of my uniqueness allows me to truly love myself for who I am and embrace the rare characteristics and qualities that God blessed me with.
Being whole is a reflection of who I am, what I’m doing and what I have to give.
Wholeness, in and of itself, is packed with so much significance!
Who I am indicates my purpose in life.
What I’m doing reflects my vision of the future.
What I have to give signifies my gift the world.
Who would have thought that one little word, that often has a negative connotation, was jam-packed with so much meaning?
I am extremely thankful that Dr. Myles Munroe provided me with such a deep revelation, God then provided me with a personal interpretation and I could then share what I discovered with you.
So, that’s the reasoning behind why I believe everyone should embrace and desire to be single.
What are your thoughts?
How do you define being single?
How do you feel about this new perspective on singleness?
Before you share your answers to those questions in a comment below, please click to tweet and share this article with your Twitter followers or other people you believe may benefit from this newfound perspective on being single.
Want to read Dr. Myles Munroe’s perspective on singleness? It’s in his book Single, Married, Separated and Life After Divorce
If you’re ready to embrace your singleness, I highly recommend that you listen to this outstanding podcast episode that features an insightful discussion on why Single is the New Freedom.
Episode Title: Single is the New Freedom
“You will never truly be happy if you are hiding who you are.”- Jonesie
“Everyone who’s in your circle is NOT your friend.” – Jonesie
Key Takeaways & Lessons:
- The challenge of not letting your ‘representative’ overshadow the true you on dates
- Don’t misrepresent yourself to impress someone who may just be temporary
- White lies may work for a moment, but they often lead to a TOWER OF LIES that will come crashing down on you and others
- How to deal with people who question your singleness and think you should be in a relationship
- Deciphering if friends are jealous, selfish or trying to live through you vicariously
- Check your ATTITUDE – It may be turning people off
- Don’t put your purpose and goals on hold for companionship
- Women don’t need to be rescued or saved
Experience is the Best Teacher:
- Single represents freedom to Jonesie because it means NO DRAMA
- Jonesie has enjoyed being single for 5 years and FREE of drama & games
- Jay shares his experience of conforming to the crowd
- The LITTLE WHITE LIE that turned into a 2 year relationship…and Jonesie still didn’t learn French
- How Jonesie deals with constant questions about marriage and children
- Jonesie believes First Lady Michelle Obama is a role model to single women
Hold Yourself Accountable:
- Embrace your singleness and place a strong focus on being and becoming whole.
- Until you are truly whole you are not ready or properly prepared for a relationship.
- If you’re in a relationship or marriage, admit that you aren’t whole to yourself, then to your partner and then make a decision to do what it takes to become whole…together.
Apply the Principles:
- “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33(NKJV)
- “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11(ESV)
Take Action Now:
- LOVE yourself!
- Embrace this new perspective on singleness
- Evaluate each aspect of your singleness (separate, unique and whole) and determine what voids need to be filled
- Seek God for guidance and begin setting goals
- Share this perspective on singleness with other people you know who you believe will positively benefit from it
Call to Action:
- Leave a comment below and let me know if you believe EVERYONE should desire to be single.
- If you have any questions about singleness that you want me to address during this month’s ‘Single is the New Freedom’ series please leave a comment below or send me a private message using the contact form.