101: Escaping Loveless Relationships

Love & Relationships.


They are supposed to go together, right?


Today, we discuss what to do if you find yourself in a loveless relationship.


In the latest episode of the Listen Up Ladies series, my guest Miss T.N. King and I will be addressing the concerns of a woman who wants to know how she can escape from a loveless relationship.


Take a moment to read the message she sent me below:


Hi Jay,

I am 35 and my child’s father is 40. We met 10 years ago through a mutual friend and we had a strong emotional connection immediately. We grew to love each deeply and our relationship managed to survive numerous breakups, over the first 5 years due to him lying and keeping secrets from me.

He concealed the following facts when we met:

1) he was married and only legally separated;

2) his pending divorce was a result of his infidelity and fathering a child outside of his marriage; and

3) he continued to father two additional children by two other women during this same period of time.

He shared these truths only when he had to in court during a child support hearing for our 2 year old son. So, 7 years into this relationship I realized this was not the man I came to love and respect, but I continued to let him remain in our lives. First, I told myself it was because his son needed to have a relationship with his father, but when it became very clear he was only in my life to freely come and go as he pleased and not to establish a relationship with his son, my heart grew colder and colder. I was finished with this man when I realized he had no capacity to truly love anyone but himself. Yet, I still allowed him to come in and out of my life.

We do not need him and there are many godly men expressing genuine interest in me and my child, but it seems I am scared to cut this cord completely. My family and friends are sick of me complaining and doing nothing. Would you please give me some frank and honest insight into how to break this meaningless cycle while I still have a chance? I want to go forward and not backward anymore. Thanks for hearing me out.


This woman’s concerns are a reality for not just her, but many women. Therefore, Miss T.N. King and I really dive deep into how she and other women can truly break free from loveless relationships.


Listen now to discover how you too can escape from a loveless relationship.



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If you know a woman who can benefit from this please share it with her, by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.


[Tweet “Escaping Loveless Relationships ft. @MissTNKing on @RTRLRadio”]




Episode Title: Escaping Loveless Relationships


Guest: Miss T.N. KingFollow Her on Twitter


Music: Rose Royce – Love Don’t Live Here Anymore



  • “Women, we have to accept a man for who he is, at that point in time, not who he used to be or who we think he’s going to be.” – Miss T.N. King


  • “When you let go of trash, God can give you treasure.” – Miss T.N. King


  • “Who you keep in your circle has a direct effect on your life.” – Miss T.N. King


  • “God will definitely turn your mess into your message!” – Miss T.N. King


  • “Stop making a man your idol and giving him your everything!” – Miss T.N. King


  • “I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with, nor am I attracted, to a woman who does not love herself.” – Jay Mayo


  • “You have to love you. My love can’t be dependent on you and your love shouldn’t be dependent on me.” – Jay Mayo


  • “Ladies, love yourself or he’s not going to love you.” – Miss T.N. King


  • “Just because he goes to church on Sunday does not mean he’s a godly man. Go to the Word! It will never lead you astray.” – Miss T.N. King


Key Lessons:

  • Developing the strength to leave a loveless relationship
  • Why women need to dump the trash and prepare for the treasure God has in store for them
  • Overcoming the hurdle of guilt
  • How to end a loveless relationship
  • How to take control over your fears
  • Love for self and God are a MUST


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • The importance of being able to discern God’s warning signs
  • The process of falling out of love
  • The benefits of surrounding yourself with people of purpose
  • The power of positive affirmations and the power in taking authority over satan in your life
  • The Ride or Die Chick: Loyal or Weak?
  • Galatians 5:22-23 explains exactly what it means to be a godly man or woman


Dangers & Difficulties:

  • The danger of women being lured into bad situations based on false hope
  • How we can allow fear to trap us in loveless relationships
  • The dangers of allowing someone to come in and out of your life at will
  • Coming to grips with not receiving closure from an ended relationship
  • Stop making a man the center of your world


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Miss T.N. King opens up about the communication and abandonment issues she experienced in a past relationship
  • Miss T.N. King explains how she took the “gangsta” approach to ending her relationship
  • Jay opens up about one of the major break ups he experienced in his past and how the relationship came to an end


Insight & Action Steps:

  • If you’re MARRIED you must place God about your feelings.


  • If you’re UNMARRIED you must do what is in your best interest.
    • If a relationship is unhealthy…end it.
    • If a man isn’t meeting or willing to meet your needs, wants and expectations…end it.
    • Express how you feel to him verbally and respectfully end the relationship.
    • Begin focusing on bettering yourself and preparing for your next relationship.
    • Start by reading the book Waiting and Dating by Dr. Myles Munroe


Apply the Kingdom Principle:

“The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, asnd the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.” Proverbs 18:15 (NKJV)


  • Autumn
    March 23, 2015

    I haven’t listened to this one yet, but I see a sentiment expressed in the previous podcast. Why can’t one place God about (above?) one’s feelings in an unmarried relationship? Why can’t one consider divorce if a husband isn’t meeting a wife’s needs?

    I guess I don’t place marriage above other relationships. If you and your partner love one another (or did once) and committed I believe that commitment should be honored even if it’s not a marriage. Why shouldn’t it be? And I do believe if a marriage is unhealthy, one should end it. Full stop. Why should anyone be trapped in anything unhealthy? I just think the can rules apply for both married and unmarried relationships.

    Can’t wait to listen to the podcast! But just saw the sentiment twice in a row in in the show notes AND in a book I’m reading. Curious what the guests think about my question.

    • Jay
      April 1, 2015

      Hey Autumn! Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I really appreciate it!

      Oh yeah! You know it means so much to me to have your continued support. Thank you!

      Yes, I would have stayed with my ex if she agreed to communicate with me on a weekly basis.

      Whether or not it would have worked out…I honestly can’t say.

      Looking back…I’m glad things turned out the way they did.

      I honestly believe it was a situation in which she had already checked out. She just wanted me to be the one to pull the plug. It sucked doing that at the time, but I believe it worked out for the best, for both of us.

      I can understand your positions on marriage and relationships. However, not getting a divorce is a conviction for me. Knowing and understanding the significance of marriage, it is vastly different from unmarried relationships, especially in God’s eyes.

      I believe that’s the biggest difference for me. I prefer to perceive marriage and relationships from God’s perspective, which is vastly different from the world’s perspective.

      At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own perspective and decision. As God respects our free will and ability to make our own decisions, I also respect the choices and decisions that others make too. It’s not for me to judge, nor do I want to.

      Thank you for opening up and sharing your perspective and your questions. You consistently give me things to ponder. Thanks Autumn!

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