45: How to Overcome Tough Issues with Your Family

Dealing with family can be challenging.


Especially, when there are unresolved issues that exist.


Thankfully, there is a way to address and overcome those issues.

If you have tough issues with your family that you want to overcome, you must listen to my latest podcast episode featuring Mz. Word:



If you know someone who can benefit from this podcast, please share it with them by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.


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Episode Title: How to Overcome Tough Issues with Your Family


Guests: Mz. WordFollow Her on Twitter


Music: Building 429 – We Won’t Be Shaken * Moriah Peters – You Carry Me



  • When it comes to relationships, you have to love being in a language that they understand.” – Mz. Word


  • “Sometimes we argue about the dumbest things and it takes away from the integrity of the relationship.” – Mz. Word


  • “We should be grateful to be in a position where we can help somebody else.” – Mz. Word


  • “Our thinking is the demise of so many relationships.” – Mz. Word


  • “Sometimes the only way you can honor a person is from a distance.” – Mz. Word


  • “Forgiveness isn’t easy, but you must let the pain go.” – Jay


  • “Do not act off of emotion, without the benefit of intellect.” – Mz. Word


  • “You can’t get so caught up in somebody else’s situation that you lose where you’re supposed to be.” – Mz. Word


  • “The majority of our disappointment in life, with other people, is because we hold people to a high standard that we often can’t meet ourselves.” – Mz. Word


  • “Only give what you don’t need a thank you for.” – Mz. Word


  • “If you tell somebody that you forgive them and you can’t let go of the pain, you haven’t forgiven them. Because the person that’s healed, works to heal other people.” – Mz. Word


Key Lessons:

  • The importance of knowing other people’s love language and their capacity for love and understanding
  • How to discern the major issues, that need to be addressed, from the minor issues that you are better off just getting over
  • The importance of learning how to give with no expectation of receiving something back in return
  • The power in our tongues and the words we speak over our lives and the lives of others


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • How to candid share with a sibling that they have hurt you
  • Learn more about the keys to successfully addressing tough issues with your sibling: Remove the emotion, stick to the issues and learn how to wisely pick your battles
  • How to maintain a relationship with a sibling who has made a decision to walk a different path through life than you have
  • How to learn valuable lessons from your hurt and pain


Dangers and Difficulties:

  • How to avoid disregarding the challenges that other people face, because you don’t face those same challenges
  • The importance of managing your expectations and being careful about projecting them onto other people
  • How to stop allowing your sibling to take advantage of you and your love for them
  • How to determine if it’s time to limit your interaction with your siblings


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Mz. Word shares how a rough time financially changed her perception of helping others and complaining about it
  • Mz. Word explains why you may want to think twice about ever uttering the words “I don’t understand”


Hold Yourself Accountable:

The first step to repair relationships with your siblings is to acknowledge that you must first start with yourself.


Apply the Principles:

“In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me.” Psalm 86:7 (ESV)


Take Action Now:

  1. Discern the severity of the issue. (Is it major or minor?)
  2. Take time to learn how to effectively communicate with the other person.
  3. Forgive them before you even speak to them.
  4. Submit the issue entirely to God.


Show Some Love:

Please leave me a comment or a private message answering the following question:

Are there currently any tough issues that you desire to work through with your siblings?


  • Destiny's Truth
    September 15, 2014

    Jay this discussion with Mz. Word was powerful and has a profound impact upon my perspective about forgiving and forgetting. I also learned not to complain about people frequently calling upon me to pray and advise them. It is a position of blessing and I repent. There is so many great pearls of knowledge that I feel that I must listen to this podcast again. Also, I enjoyed the contemporary christian artist you had on this show. God bless and thanks again for bringing such high caliber guests and quality programs to aid us in growing.

    • Jay
      September 17, 2014

      I am so glad that you enjoyed the discussion and music. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and takeaways Destiny!

      I agree, there were so many golden nuggets within this discussion. It was a pleasure to have the opportunity to have such an amazing discussion with Mz. Word.

      Thanks so much for your kind words and continued support. They mean a lot to me!

  • Autumn
    September 16, 2014

    Ugh. I’m so sick of being the bigger person. Siblings, friends, work. It’s SO EXHAUSTING. Sure, I must be naturally better at it. It’s a gift. It’s not negative, except I don’t know, I want someone else to do it for a change. Not all the time. For. A. Change.

    I’ve been trying to very hard to keep in mind to something Jay say about if one was a 50-year-old virgin. Ugh. I can’t even imagine that! But he said, at least you would have been faithful to your walk with Christ. Or something similar. The thing Mz. Word is saying is about maturity and integrity. And you being the person you were born to be even when you don’t really want to. That being that person is reward in itself.

    Still, would be nice for sib or a friend or someone to have your back in this way sometimes. But mine have show or told me in words that they don’t know how. Sigh.

    “What makes you think I see two roads?” Wow. I’ve been on both sides. Sometimes I see no roads, good grief. But this humility does help when you meet people on their road. You remember when you couldn’t see. We each give the other the benefit of the doubt.

    Good discussion. Reminds me that I’m still on a journey, but at least I’m making progress on the journey!

    • Jay
      September 21, 2014

      I know what you mean Autumn. It can be exhausting to always be the bigger person. However, once that positive characteristic is embraced, there is a joy and a peace that comes along with being the bigger person, even if other people don’t acknowledge or respect it.

      Yes, Mz. Word is right about it being a reward to walk with Christ, even if it means someone has to go decades without experiencing intimate physical love. I know that can’t be easy, but I also know that it isn’t impossible either. Plus, God’s spiritual love is unmatched. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be filled with His love for decades.

      That statement was so powerful. I’m still chewing on it! lol

      We are all still on the journey. You are not alone. Thankfully, we can support and encourage one another as we progress.

  • Autumn
    September 16, 2014

    Thanks you for your words of encouragement. I will be listening to this podcast again and not just for family but for other relationships too.

    • Jay
      September 21, 2014

      That’s a blessing. I pray that you enjoy it and possibly take something new away that you may not have caught the first time around.

  • Awesomely Over-Zealous
    September 17, 2014

    I hang up the phone, walk away, and ignore. Half the time they want to fight for the sake of fighting. I don’t talk to my sisters because they’re attracted to unnecessary dramas and like to pick on me for no reason. Drop kicked like a bag of dirt! If it were a normal family, I’d say talk it out, apologize and learn to put things behind you; when you say forgive and forget don’t bring ish up. Great topic! Happy Hump Day all! -Iva

    • Jay
      September 21, 2014

      I really appreciate your candidness and transparency Iva. I can’t even begin to imagine how challenging it can be to develop a strong relationship under such circumstances. Thankfully, you’ve found peace regarding your relationship with your sisters, without harboring resentment or unforgiveness towards them.Thanks a blessing.

      Thank you so much for taking the time out to listen to the podcast and share your thoughts too. That means more to me than you know!

  • James J
    September 17, 2014

    Hey Jay this was a pretty good discussion, and I definitely enjoyed it. I wanted to answer the question about being in any tough issues that I desire to work through with siblings. I can speak from both perspectives, successfully working though issues with a sibling, and then trying to work through issues with siblings and not being successful.

    My father had 3 other children (1 male, 2 female) from another relationship, all of them are older. I’ve reached out and tried to build relationships with them, and have been successful with only one of them. I can call him and talk to him about anything. Now the other 2, they just seem to ignore me, they don’t want any parts of me. Its kinda sad, but I know that I haven’t done anything wrong to them. All I can do is continue to pray for them, and hope that they come around one day.

    Anyway, great episode, keep up the great work!

    • Jay
      September 21, 2014

      Hey James! Look at God working through you bro. Thank you so much for taking the time out to swinging by and leave a comment sharing your thoughts. It means so much to me!

      I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed the discussion.

      Also, thank you for answering the question and sharing such personal aspects of our life and relationships with us. Thank you for that level of trust.

      It’s a blessing that you and one of your brothers have such a close relationship. In regards to your other brother and sister, you are doing the right thing by praying for them and placing things in God’s hands. You’ve reached out and Lordwilling, when the time is right and they have a change or heart, you all will be reunited and able to establish lasting relationships too.

      Thank you again for sharing and for ALL of your amazing support. It means the world to me James. God bless you!

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