284: Dealing With the Pressure of Being Single (Part 4)


Dealing With the Pressure of Being Single (Part 4) with Joshua M. ParkerIn this episode, Jay concludes his discussion with author Joshua M. Parker by addressing the question: How to prepare ourselves for marriage?




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Episode Title: Dealing With the Pressure of Being Single (Part 4)


Guest: Joshua M. Parker


Check out Joshua’s book, I Will Wait For You: Single and Unwilling to Settle


Listen to Joshua’s teaching, Single & Unwilling to Settle Pt. 1


Listen to Joshua’s teaching, Single & Unwilling to Settle Pt. 2



  • “Stay in expectation.” – Joshua Parker


Question We Address and Answer:

  • How to prepare ourselves for marriage?


Key Lessons and Takeaways:

  • Why marriage must be the intent of dating and courtship.
  • The value in arranged marriages.
  • The importance of seeking knowledge from the right Source.



  • “He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
    And obtains favor from the Lord.
    Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)


  • This is the history of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, 5 before any plant of the field was in the earth and before any herb of the field had grown. For the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the earth, and there was no man to till the ground;Genesis 2:4-5 (NKJV)



  • Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:Philippians 4:11 (NKJV)


  • But those who wait on the Lord
    Shall renew their strength;
    They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
    They shall run and not be weary,
    They shall walk and not faint.Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)


  • And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.Galatians 6:9 (NKJV)


  • Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?Matthew 6:25 (NKJV)


  • Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.Matthew 6:34 (NKJV)


  • And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.Genesis 2:21-22 (NKJV)


  • You shall not remove your neighbor’s landmark, which the men of old have set, in your inheritance which you will inherit in the land that the Lord your God is giving you to possess.Deuteronomy 19:14 (NKJV)


  • Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    And lean not on your own understanding;Proverbs 3:5 (NKJV)


  • The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
    And saves such as have a contrite spirit.Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)


  • For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.Hebrews 4:15 (NKJV)


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  • Kenasia Johnson
    February 23, 2016


    I want to first say thank you and God bless you!

    I am 21 years old and a recent graduate. I have been seeing many of my friends and peers getting into relationships, and I had been craving to get into one myself, but I realized that I was dealing with the wrong men because of the many pressures of dating that were discussed in the podcast by you and Joshua. I could not understand how I could be extremely blessed and successful in my academic life (graduating at 20) and career, but not in my relationships in regards to dating. I realized I was not in preparation, but I wanted instant gratification (a term I learned in the book, The Wait by Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin), which usually leaves many singles disappointed. I have always had a desire to love and be in a relationship, but I knew the first relationship that I had to have in order was my relationship with God. I know that I am built to be a wife, but after listening to this podcast I asked myself, “Would I be ready to say I do to myself?” The answer is no. I know I am called to be a wife (not every woman is), but I have to position myself as a wife and understand I am not in control of my relationships, God is. I know I am sounding long-winded lol, but I have listened to this podcast three times, each time learning something new and it truly blessed me. It was confirmation (hearing from God through messages, loved that podcast too lol) that waiting is simply a time for preparation. You are absolutely moving while you are waiting. Waiting does not mean you are to remain stagnant. I know there are things I have to work on myself, and when that time does come for me to be presented to my husband (really interested in the arranged idea lol) I will be ready! When I think of the arranged marriage idea, to me it simply means for your marriage to be arranged and ordained by God in whatever format that looks like (like the couple who met at a conference). Your podcast is going to reach MANY nations and impact many people! You will touch nations with what you are doing. I am very intellectual and like to be challenged mentally and spiritually, so I really appreciate you and others like you for not conforming to this world, but renewing yourself in your walk with God and showing others it is okay to be cool and love God at the same time. I have an acronym I created called F.O.C.U.S it stands for Foundation Often Create Unfathomable Success. Jay, because of you planting this foundation with this podcast series, you will see many successes you could not even think of. Thanks again for being a vessel to deliver God’s word in modern day perspective. Be blessed!

    • Jay
      February 24, 2016

      Hey Kenasia!!!

      You are far too kind. Thank you and God bless you too!!!

      Congrats on your recent graduation! As my gyrl Court would put it, you are now officially ‘adulting’. LOL!

      WOW!!! Reading your comment has brought a HUGE Kool Aid smile to my face!!!

      I am overjoyed that God was speaking to you so clearly during this discussion. He provided you with the guidance and direction you need to truly embrace your singleness and properly prepare for your next relationship. God is so awesome!!!

      You’re not being long-winded at all. I am so happy to hear your testimony and takeaways!

      BIG UPS to you for investing in yourself and listening to this episode three times. You get it and you better believe God is going to bless you, because you are willing to SEEK Him. That is something many people are not willing to do. You are above and ahead of the rest. Stay the course! Great things lie ahead for you!

      YES!!! I like your perspective on arranged marriage. When God arranges it, we cannot go wrong!

      You are amazing and I am so humbled by your kind and encouraging words. I am blessed and honored to serve wonderful people like you. God has gifted me with something I never could have imagined. I am so grateful and thankful.

      Thank you for your continued prayers and support. It truly means more to me than you know.

      You can definitely expect a HUGE shout out in an upcoming episode!

      I hope you will consider becoming a part of the R.E.A.L. Love community and I look forward to interacting with you more often.

      May God continue to bless you Kenasia!!!

      • Kenasia Johnson
        February 24, 2016

        I kept checking all day to see how quickly you would respond! Lol. My name is pronounced Ken-Asia, but please shout me out as Asia J. The first time I heard you speak I felt and knew I could be apart of this community! It is a blessing and honor to have this encounter with you! Thank you so much!

        • Jay
          February 25, 2016

          Nice! LOL!

          Thank you for letting me know how to pronounce your name. I truly appreciate that and I will be sure to shout you out as Asia J.

          Awww…it’s really a pleasure and an honor to connect and speak with you too.

          God is so awesome! He has a way of leading us right to what we need, when we need it.

          I am so grateful that He allowed you to discover the podcast and knowing that you are finding value in it brings me so much joy!

          I look forward to your upcoming comments. If you’re willing, please join the email group.

          I am in the process of developing a small group of people who I plan to assist, teach and mentor. The focus will be on embracing our singleness and staying committed to our walk with Jesus Christ. If that’s something you may be interested in, please let me know.

          YES!!! That’s the key…to fulfill our purpose the RIGHT way!!!

          Like I said before, you get it!!!

          I can’t wait to speak with you again soon Asia.

          God bless you!!!

          • Kenasia Johnson
            February 25, 2016


            Hopefully this is my last comment on this post lol,but I can’t seem to find how to join the email group.

            This is right on time for me. Just by making the conscious decision to let God be in control of everything and step out of it, things have been going great. I would love to be apart of this mentor group. I was just thinking about how I could keep in contact with the real love community other than just posting comments lol. You seriously do not know how much you have blessed me!


          • Jay
            February 25, 2016

            Hey Asia!

            I apologize for not providing you with a link.

            Here the link to sign up for the email group:


            You will also receive the DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE workbook when you sign up.

            Great! Once you sign up for the email group I will send the information regarding the mentorship group to you via email.

            Thank you and speak with you soon!


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