84: How Single Parents Can Know It’s Time to Start Dating Again

Dating can be challenging for single parents.

 

There are so many variables they must consider…and they are usually constantly changing.

 

If you are a single parent, or you know one, who has a desire to start dating again, you’ve come to the right place!

 

In the latest podcast episode, I had the opportunity to speak with two single mothers, Angela and Laneice, to discuss at length the challenges that many single parents face when they are ready to start dating again.

 

There are so many valuable insights shared during the discussion and I am sure that after listening you will know whether or not you are truly ready to start dating. Enjoy!

 

DOWNLOAD THIS EPISODE

 

SHOW NOTES

 

Episode Title: How Single Parents Can Know It’s Time to Start Dating Again

 

Guests: Angela * Laniece

 

Music: Leela James – Do Me Right

 

Quotables:

  • You must be complete within yourself. No one can make you complete.” – Laniece

 

  • “We really have to focus on learning how to be happy and putting our hope in Christ versus putting my hope in a person.” – Angela

 

Key Lessons:

  • The importance of therapy and true healing
  • The differences between how single parents prepare for dating and how singles without children prepare for dating
  • How single parents can prepare their children when they get ready to start dating again
  • How people without children can prepare to date a single parent

 

Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • Laniece shares two things that single parents MUST do before they even think about dating again
  • Why single parents should ask their children what they think about them dating before they start dating again

 

Dangers & Difficulties:

  • Reasons why some single parents find it challenging to start dating again
  • How to interact in a peaceful and drama-free manner with your ex while dating

 

Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Angela admits the mistake she made by not initially focusing on how her children felt about her dating
  • Laniece discusses the fine line between not being ready to start dating again and just being too afraid to be ready

 

Fun Times & Stories

  • Angela and Laniece talk about the ‘stank face’ phase that many single mothers go through when they have no interest in or tolerance for men who are attracted to them

 

Hold Yourself Accountable:

If you haven’t completely healed, don’t truly know yourself and don’t know why you want to begin dating again…you’re not ready. So, take the time to invest in yourself and do the most important work first. Work on you, not finding a mate.

 

Apply the Kingdom Principles:

“Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.” Proverbs 1:5 (ESV)

 

Take Action Now:

  1. Prioritize and place first things first.
  2. Pray and seek God for guidance.
  3. Research and consider counseling or coaching.
  4. Talk to your children.
  5. Date yourself before you date someone else.

 

14 Comments
  • Angela
    January 23, 2015

    Jay, thanks again for the opportunity to share with your listeners. I had a ball and I learned some more things about myself during taping and then again upon hearing the finished product. 🙂 I’m encouraged that others will be helped with the information that was shared and that is wonderful. 🙂 Keep doing what you do Sir because you do it with excellence & unto the glory of God!

    • Jay
      January 27, 2015

      Thank you Angela! The pleasure is all mine. You and Laniece were AMAZING! I truly enjoyed the discussion with you both and I can’t wait to have you both back on the podcast again.

      I know that those who listen will benefit from the insights and experiences that you and Laniece shared. There is no doubt about it.

      Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words and continued support. It means the world to me.

      God bless you!

  • Laniece Darcel
    January 23, 2015

    Hi Jay! Thank you so much for inviting me to join your podcast. I thoroughly enjoyed having the chance to speak to you and Angela and I learned so much. Listening to this again has me in CRYING I am laughing so hard. Love the song choice by the way. I pray that this podcast will help others, not just parents. Thank you for providing a place for singles to learn, grow and have fun while we go through the process. I pray God’s continuing grace and favor over your life and ministry.

    • Jay
      January 27, 2015

      Hey Laniece! It was an honor to have you as a guest on the podcast. You and I always have a great time when we speak and we did this time too. I had so much fun speaking with you and Angela.

      I learned a lot from you two! I am so grateful for that and both of you.

      You’re not the only one who was getting your laugh on. You both are hilarious and I love it!

      I’m happy you like the song. I thought it was a good fit. Thanks for the confirmation.

      I pray that many benefit from this podcast too. There is so much to be learned from what was shared. Lordwilling, those who need to hear it will.

      To God goes all the glory. None of this would be possible without Him. I am humbled each and every day.

      Thank you so much for all of your continued love and support.

      God bless you!

  • singlemomsmile1
    January 23, 2015

    Man oh man! Jay these sistas were telling it like it is. I know all about that fine line between not being ready and being afraid. My sister was just calling me out about my fear before I heard the podcast. As you know I have an 8 year old. Gone are those carefree days of “we have great chemistry” or “he’s so fine and sexy I have to get to know him”.

    I almost died when one of your guests said “when you are single and don’t have kids” because I call my friends without kids “single” also lmbo! I feel like I’m coupled up because my child is joined at my hip.

    I really don’t know when a man will meet my child. Knowing me I will be sneaking and dating and not tell her a thing for a year or more. Who knows…I just can’t even begin to think along those lines. Right now the best thing a man can be for me is a friend/brother (like you). My daughter has a father and I am not looking for a replacement. We are a package but a man needs to understand that she is covered in the dad department. I am not opposed to him loving her don’t get me wrong and being a father figure. It’s just that when I decide to take on a mate I’m not looking to add a man and stir to make a “complete” family. My single mom household is not a broken home. It is actually more functional than some married households I know and the one I grew up in. I’m no man hater. I love a good brother as much as the next woman. I just view a man would be an added bonus to the what God has already blessed me with.

    I catch flack and get told I have a “wall up”. I don’t. I just don’t have the time to dedicate to pursuing a relationship. As a single parent with a demanding career I just can’t give a man the attention he deserves right now. Sometime I feel I may not have the time until my daughter goes off to college. So if a man would like to be my friend and get to know me for the next 9 years and then take it to the next level after she is grown and gone then I can be down with that. But then again I feel guilty because my daughter just told me LAST NIGHT (before the podcast came out) that she wants a “dad in the house”. The little girl even gave me the side eye when I told her she already had a dad and a good one at that. Kids!

    I enjoyed the show! Keep em coming.

    • Jay
      January 27, 2015

      Hey sis! I am so happy that you enjoyed this episode. I agree that Angela and Laniece were keeping it 100!

      I can’t even begin to imagine how fine that line is. That may be something you and the ladies may consider diving into on an episode of WPOV. I’d be interested in hearing each of your thoughts on that fine line.

      That’s real! I’m sure it’s a big difference between having children and not. It’s two completely different worlds.

      I love the fact that you know what you need and what your daughter needs. That clarity is powerful and along with God’s guidance it will keep you on the right path and enable you to continue making wise decisions for both you and your daughter.

      Your perspective is very refreshing and empowering, whether you realize it or not. You’re content. You’re happy. You’re patient. I know God will reward you.

      WOW! Your daughter is amazing! She is so much like her mother. She knows what she wants and she isn’t afraid to express it. You can’t knock that.

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the show. Thank you for listening and there is definitely more on the way.

      I am very blessed to have you in my corner sis. Thank you and God bless you!

      • singlemomsmile1
        January 27, 2015

        Thank you Jay. I was sure to let Sienna the wonderful words you had to say about her. She was grinning from ear to ear. God bless you

        • Jay
          January 30, 2015

          NICE! I appreciate that.

          Oh yeah! I would love to hear you ladies discuss it.

          Thanks!

    • Angela
      January 28, 2015

      Thanks! 🙂 I’m humbled that my mistakes and honesty has been helpful to others! 🙂 It’s a blessing to witness. 🙂 May you trust the plans God has for your life, knowing that He knows what is best for us, even if it takes you along a different path than you envisioned. I have come to realize that TRUST is one of the most challenging things to walk out and yet also one of the most rewarding. 🙂

      • singlemomsmile1
        January 28, 2015

        Thank you!

  • Colleen
    January 26, 2015

    Wow….I really enjoyed the podcast! I am a single mother of a 9 year old going on 30 lol. Just as Angela and Laniece explained, it’s difficult dating while being a single parent. I could definitely relate to both ladies. Thank you so much for the knowledge, opinions, and realness from you all. Keep up the great work!! 🙂

    • Jay
      January 27, 2015

      Hey Colleen! Thank you so much for taking the time out to listen to the podcast. I am so thrilled that you enjoyed it.

      I can only imagine the challenges that you and other single mothers, like Angela and Laniece, experience. I’m sure the ones they touched on are only scratching the surface.

      I am happy that you were able to relate to both Angela and Laniece. That’s great!

      Thank you so much for your kind and genuine words. It means a lot to me that you took something beneficial from the discussion.

      Thanks Colleen and God bless you!

    • singlemomsmile1
      January 27, 2015

      Lol I say my daughter is 8 going on 40!

    • Angela
      January 28, 2015

      Thanks for the positive feedback! 🙂 It takes a conscious effort for me to keep at the forefront of my mind that God actually has a plan for my life, so if I concenteate on following the lamp that He provides unto our feet, then I will eventually get all things that He has purposed for me to obtain & experience…including a healthy happy marriage! I’m a wife, not a eunuch! LOL! 🙂 Be encouraged and keep preparing to be a wife so that when the time comes you are READY!!! 🙂 Godspeed my Sister in the Lord! 🙂

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