176: Limiting Your Dating Pool (Part 4)


Limiting Your Dating Pool (Part 4) with Coach TIn this episode, Jay continues his discussion with Coach T by addressing the question: How can we reverse negative beliefs and behaviors that sabotage our success at dating?




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Episode Title: Limiting Your Dating Pool (Part 4)


Guest: Coach T Follow Her on Twitter



  • “The only need and desire we should have or thirst for is God.” – Coach T


  • “Needy is creepy.” – Coach T


  • “Neediness is a clear sign that a person isn’t truly single.” – Jay Mayo


Question We Address and Answer:

  • How can you begin to reverse negative beliefs, mindsets and behaviors that may be sabotaging your success at dating or developing relationships?


Key Lessons and Takeaways:

  • Why being needy turns people off.
  • Why you should only be willing to date someone who is truly single (whole, unique and separate).
  • The importance of investing time into getting to know yourself.
  • The impact that placing expectations on people can have on you and your relationships.



  • Jay explains why it is important to remain patient even after you’ve found the person who you believe may be “the one”.



  • “Judge not, that you be not judged.
    2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
    3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
    4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?
    5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” –
    Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV)


  • Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”Genesis 1:26 (NKJV)


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  • John Shannon
    September 12, 2015

    This series is quite the different POV and perspective of how relationships were looked at in the past:

    The “I will take care of Myself for You, if you take care of Yourself for Me” was a shocker, only because Men and Women seem to care about being Needed as opposed to Wanted. To many, a Want can be Taken or Left- no real “importance” and apparently Temporary, whereas Needs are given true value, virtually essential…

    I get the Clingy aspects of being around someone, and in being 100% Whole; I guess when folks were Taught to Build with their S/O the point is so that a couple will know who is supporting through the Good & Bad times to determine if the possibility of Marriage is in the future. being Ready-Made is like a Man or Woman being a “waste of time” being open and vulnerable only to break up and their ex moves on happily to another who didn’t have to deal with the low and negative moments, the infidelity and lies.

    Overall, I liked the series and what Coach T shared

    • Jay
      September 13, 2015

      Hey John! Thank you so much for taking the time out to listen to the discussion with Coach T and let us know what you thought of the things that were shared.

      I agree that to not be needed by someone is a new perspective and one that contrasts what many people have been taught or believe.

      I’m glad that liked the series and what Coach T shared. She definitely dropped some knowledge and taught me some new things as well.

      I really appreciate your continued support.

      If there is ever a specific topic you would like to hear discussed on the podcast, please let me know.

      Thank you and God bless you!

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