1003: How Helping or Supporting Family Members Can be a Strain on Relationships (Part 3)


How Helping or Supporting Family Members Can be a Strain on Relationships (Part 3)In this episode, Jay continues his discussion with relationship & dating expert Dr. Ayo Gathing by addressing the question: What to do if you’re the one your family members always come to for help?





Press play below to listen:


Subscribe on iTunes


Subscribe on Android







Episode Title: How Helping or Supporting Family Members Can be a Strain on Relationships (Part 3)


Guest: Dr. Ayo GathingFollow Her on Twitter


Check out Dr. Ayo’s books


Question We Address and Answer:

  • What to do if you’re the one your family members always come to for help?


Key Lessons and Takeaways:

  • Why we should not be afraid to say no to helping or supporting someone.
  • The value in seeking God’s perspective on whether or not we should help or support a family member.
  • How to properly balance helping a family member and maintaining a relationship or marriage.



  • Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.Exodus 20:12 (NIV)


  • Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’31 “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33 In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.Luke 14:25-33 (NIV)


  • Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
    A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
    Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)


  • Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”Matthew 22:34-40 (NIV)


  • If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?1 Timothy 3:5 (NIV)


  • Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)


Hold Yourself Accountable:

  • Properly analyze the cost of choosing to help or support family members.


Apply the Kingdom Principle:

  • “My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor,
    if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger,
    2 you have been trapped by what you said,
    ensnared by the words of your mouth.
    3 So do this, my son, to free yourself,
    since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands:
    Go—to the point of exhaustion—
    and give your neighbor no rest!
    4 Allow no sleep to your eyes,
    no slumber to your eyelids.
    5 Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,
    like a bird from the snare of the fowler.”
    Proverbs 6:1-5 (NIV)


Take Action Now:

  • Seek God to discover what He wants you to do. Don’t forget Him, He is part of the relationship.


Book Recommendations:



Free Resources:

Monthly Book Giveaway: Enter now for a chance to win a FREE BOOK!


Support Right to R.E.A.L. Love Radio:

Leave a 5 Star Rating and Review on iTunes


Leave a 5 Star Rating and Review on Stitcher


Not sure how to leave a review? Watch this quick tutorial


Press the colorful buttons below and SHARE THE LOVE!!!