65: Emotionless Sex is Not the Answer to Loneliness

Loneliness sucks!


I think we all can agree with that.


However, having emotionless sex is NOT the answer to curing loneliness.


Whether you’ve engaged in emotionless sex or not, I believe you can truly benefit by listening to the latest podcast episode and learning why you should consider thinking twice before having emotionless sex.






Episode Title: Emotionless Sex is Not the Answer to Loneliness


Guests: RayNeFollow Her on Twitter


Music: Lauryn Hill – Doo Wop (That Thing) * Phil Allen – When I Became a Man (Spoken Word)



  • I do believe emotionless sex is possible…if it’s a onetime thing.” – RayNe


  • “Women need to like you in order to sleep with you. We can’t just have sex with you.” – RayNe


  • “It’s very hard for a woman to have an intimate sexual experience that goes beyond 10 minutes and not care.” – RayNe


Key Lessons:

  • The difference between how men and women view sex
  • The importance of getting to know yourself and not seeking validation from other people
  • Why it’s necessary for emotions to be involved during sex


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • Emotionless sex defined
  • Ways that women emotionally detach themselves from sex
  • RayNe breaks down how a woman can determine if she will have sex with a man or not within 30 seconds


Dangers & Difficulties:

  • Why developing emotions is inevitable if you are continuously having sex with someone
  • The risk men take by fronting like they don’t get emotionally attached when they have sex
  • The dangers of having emotionless sex


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • RayNe explains why she decided to be celibate


Apply the Kingdom Principles:

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”  1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NKJV)


Hold Yourself Accountable:

If you love God, you must honor Him, yourself and your body.


Show Some Love:

Please leave me a comment or a private message answering the following questions:

Do you believe it’s possible to have emotionless sex?


  • singlemomsmile1
    November 22, 2014

    I could never separate my emotions from sex and I am glad for that. I swear when RayNe broke down the inner diolouge that some women have with themselves I got tired. That’s a whole lot of self talk to avoid becoming emotionally attached. That energy should be spent on building yourself up and not hooking up.

    I must admit I have an affinity for short (vertically challenged) men because of my dad. He is not a tall man but he is a powerhouse. I’m not saying I don’t like tall men but put the two side by side I will automatically check for the shorter one especially if he has an athletic build.

    The power of the subconsious mind should never be underestimated. I enjoy learning how the subconsious really drives our day to day lives. RayNe is a very intelligent woman.

    Sex is more than just physical. Bruno Mars said it best “Swimming in your waters is something spiritual” in Locked Out
    Of Heaven. Now that I have a full understanding of what sex is meant to be, why God gave it, and all of the things that happen mentally and spiritually I don’t have an interest in sharing my body with someone who is not my husband and that’s real. Having sex right now really isn’t on my radar and I know it had to be God to calm the inferno within. Should God leave me at a life of celibacy I know I could do it. But truthfully it would be nice to have the experience of sex within a God ordained marriage…I’ve that it is mind blowing!

    • Jay
      November 23, 2014

      I can totally understand that. I believe emotions are meant to be a part of sex and to want to eliminate them is nutz.

      I know, right?! That dialogue and thought process seemed so draining and intensive.

      As a short man, you know I’m over here fist bumpin and cheesin! LOL!

      Yes, RayNe is very intelligent and you’re right about how powerful the subconscious mind is. I don’t think we often realize how powerful it is and how much impact it really has on us and our lives.

      I’ve never heard that Bruno Mars song. I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for sharing.

      I’m with you. The more that I’ve come to know and understand about sex, from God’s perspective, it’s not something I want to experience with any woman except my wife.

      “But truthfully it would be nice to have the experience of sex within a
      God ordained marriage…I’ve heard that it is mind blowing!”

      That’s real talk! I look forward to experiencing that too! lol

  • Autumn
    November 24, 2014

    I think it’s possible. But as RayNe said it takes work not to get emotionally involved. Not as much work for everyone, though. There are different seasons in life.

    I wonder what a man thinks of this question! Many men say they can and do have meaningless sex. I know sex feels good, but I wonder what people think about the implications of intimacy beyond the immediate feeling. Maybe other commenters will share. I know women think about it all the time.

    I’m starting to believe that not everyone on this Earth is meant to be married. I don’t think they have to be nuns and priests, either. There is something in between. I’m not sure what that is, but I think there is.

    Emotionless sex. Is the immediate release alone really worth it? I can’t answer because the answer is more about each person, their history, experiences, and what they want for the future.

    • Jay
      November 24, 2014

      I totally think that most men will lead women, other men and even themselves to believe that they have have completely emotionless and meaningless sex.

      Where that may be possible, in some instances, I highly doubt that it’s the norm.

      I agree that everyone isn’t meant to nor going to get married. There is totally a balance, between those extremes, and I believe it can be a remarkable and joyous place. Especially if that person is focused on fulfilling the purpose God placed on their life.

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