859: How to Forgive an Offender After Experiencing Abuse (Part 4)


How to Forgive an Offender After Experiencing Abuse (Part 4)In this episode, Jay concludes his discussion with author Shawn Pearson by addressing the question: Why is forgiveness required but reconciliation is not?





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Episode Title: How to Forgive an Offender After Experiencing Abuse (Part 4)


Guest: Shawn PearsonFollow Her on Instagram


Check out Shawn’s book, Taking Back My Heart: Surviving the Storms to Enjoy the Reign 


Question We Address and Answer:

  • Why is forgiveness required but reconciliation is not?


Key Lessons and Takeaways:

  • The difference between thriving and surviving.
  • Why reconciliation is not required.
  • Steps to genuinely forgive an abuser or offender.
  • The importance of seeking God to help you during the healing and forgiveness process.
  • The benefits of forgiving an offender or abuser.



  • Shawn shares how she grew up with a survivor’s mentality.



  • And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.Ephesians 4:30 (NIV)


  • “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
    declares the Lord.
    9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
    Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)


  • ou are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)


  • Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”Matthew 19:26 (NIV)


  • A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.Luke 6:45 (NKJV)


  • But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)


  • I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.Psalm 139:14 (NIV)


  • And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.Revelation 12:11 (KJV)


Hold Yourself Accountable:

  • Forgiveness and healing are a choice.


Apply the Kingdom Principle:

  • “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)


Take Action Now:

  • Do a personal study in the Bible on forgiveness.


Book Recommendations:





Free Resources:

PODCAST: How To Build a Strong Foundation For Your Business ft. Shawn Pearson (The Plannter Podcast)


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