40: Why the New Boo Makes Some People Act Brand New

Have you ever had a friend ignore you…


…because they have a new boo?


If so, you’re not the only one!


In the latest podcast episode, Jay and Shelby discuss why some people act brand new when they get a new boo and how to deal with it. Listen now:



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Episode Title: Why the New Boo Makes Some People Act Brand New


Guests: Shelby


Music: Ed Sheeran – I’m a Mess



  • People are allowed to have friends. You can’t be a dictator over the person you’re with.” – Shelby


  • “I think it’s really tough when people start throwing their friendships to the side, just because they’re in a relationship now.” – Jay


  • “I don’t want my past coming in trying to haunt my present.” – Jay


  • “If a person isn’t bringing any type of value into your life, it’s best to just let them go.” – Jay


  • “When you’re letting someone control your mind and control what you do, that’s not a healthy relationship at all.” – Jay


Key Lessons:

  • The reason some people act brand new once they enter into a new relationship 
  • How to let someone know that you feel like they have been ignoring you
  • The importance of knowing your priorities
  • How to communicate to family and friends your commitment to your partner and relationship


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • The tendency for women to cut off their male friends entirely, when they get a new man
  • Is it crazy to ask your partner for permission to hang out with your friends?


Dangers and Difficulties:

  • The danger of dating someone who is insecure and wants you to get rid of all your friends to be with them
  • The issue of being friends with your exes
  • The danger of allowing the person you’re in a relationship to control you


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Jay explains how a man ditches his roster for the woman he is most interested in
  • Jay shares why he believes it’s beneficial to make a clean break from an ex


Fun Times & Stories:

  • Shelby shares her experience of dealing with the jealous girlfriend of a friend who thought they had a ‘long distance connection’
  • Jay tells about a female friend who completely disappeared from his life once she got a boyfriend
  • Shelby shares a crazy situation involving her, her ex and one of her close friends



  • Destiny's Truth
    August 30, 2014

    Jay, I enjoyed this podcast because it was very lighthearted, but informative. You and your guest, Shelby, discussed a topic that all of us have encountered. I have been the friend so wrapped up in her boo that I forget my friends and I have been forgotten by friends in new relationships. As we mature and become more secure in ourselves we learn and desire to balance both. When we are not complete ourselves, we have a tendency to feel that time and space apart means risk. The risk of losing something we have never had before.
    It was so nice that Shelby felt comfortable enough to share such a devastating past experience and I trust that it will be an encouragement to others that something good can always come from not such great experiences, when you are sincere and your motives pure. She trusted her friend and her partner and they did not value her, but she forgave and moved forward.

    Great show! I have enjoyed this months series and I am looking forward to the series on siblings and family relationships. Your show is so very well planned and each detail so inspiring and professional: the topics, questions, guest and music. Speaking of music, you feature some new and wonderfully talented musical artists and the songs often match the topics discussed. I truly love being a part of the R.E.A.L. Lovers community. Keep following HIS voice.

    • Jay
      September 5, 2014

      I agree Destiny. I think we all have been in a similar situation at some point in our lives.

      Yes, the key is balance. No doubt about that.

      “When we are not complete ourselves, we have a tendency to feel that time and space apart means risk. The risk of losing something we have never had before.”

      That is such an excellent point! I agree with you completely.

      You’re right, there is something good or that can at least be gained from each experience that we have, whether it’s a good or bad experience.

      Wow! Thank you so much for the genuine and kind words. It means a lot to know that you are enjoying the episodes and the series as a whole.

      Nice! I’m glad you like the music too. I try to find songs and artists that are unique and who people may not have heard before.

      I’m so happy that you are a part of the R.E.A.L. Love community too! I wouldn’t have it any other way.

      I will be sure to continue following God’s lead, guidance and voice too! Thank you for the encouragement.

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