22: Celibacy Ain’t Easy, But Somebody Gotta Do It




Some think it’s crazy, impossible and unfathomable.


Two things are for sure:


It’s not easy and it’s not for everyone.


If you’re interested in learning more about the challenges that accompany a celibate lifestyle, you must listen to the latest podcast episode, ‘Celibacy Ain’t Easy, But Somebody Gotta Do It’:



If you know someone who can benefit from this, whether they are single or in a relationship, please share it with them, by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.


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Episode Title: Celibacy Ain’t Easy, But Somebody Gotta Do It


Guests: Celi Marie DeanFollow Her on Twitter * Willie Stylez Follow Him on Twitter


Check out Celi Marie Dean’s book, Recommitted: It’s Not Too Late


Key Lessons:

  • The importance of respecting sexual boundaries
  • The challenge of dealing with temptations, while living a celibate lifestyle


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • Can women be rushed into consensual sex
  • Whose responsibility is it to stop things from going too far


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Celi Marie Dean and Jay share their personal challenges with being celibate and dealing with sexual temptations
  • Willie talks about a sexual encounter that he later regretted and the lesson it taught him


Fun Times & Stories:

  • Jay gets ‘HAYEKED’ again!
  • Willie ventures down the avenue of hypothetical threesomes


  • Autumn
    July 6, 2014

    I think if a couple is embracing celibacy, it’s on both of them to keep track of the boundaries. Despite how men are wired or designed, they can certainly evolve. Embracing celibacy is really going to a higher level of waiting. If a person makes that choice, well, I expect them to evolve past biology or how the typical person/couple would handle situations.

    It’s not only men who like instant gratification. 🙂

    So celibate people who are highly attracted to each other are never alone in one another’s homes together? Wow. Sexual purity does sound like a whole other podcast!

    Such a respectful discussion about a very charged topic. I so appreciate all three of you sharing with us.

    • Jay
      July 6, 2014

      That’s a great point. I agree that if both partners have decided to be celibate than the responsibility does fall on them both. They should be working towards holding one another accountable, similar to how Celi shared her boyfriend has done for her before.

      You’re right Autumn. It’s definitely not just men. LOL!

      I think it has more to do with the individuals. I believe it’s about knowing your triggers. I definitely think that a couple who’s practicing celibacy can be in a home with one another alone without them doing anything that would compromise their convictions and purity. It boils down to knowing and respecting boundaries. If being is such a situation isn’t a trigger for them, then it’s definitely possible.

      I am so glad that you enjoyed the discussion. Thank you so much for listening and sharing your thoughts and perspective Autumn. It continues to mean A LOT to me!

      • singlemomsmile1
        July 7, 2014

        I agree with you Jay. One has to know their boundaries. I know that being home alone after dark with a man is not something I can do.

        I would have so much respect for the man who made it his mission to help ensure we remained pure sexually. That would mean more to me than anything. It’s so nice to know Celi has a partner that cares that much.

        Willie tripped me out when he said “I like having sex.” You read my mind when you said “But you are married!”

        The podcast was on point. I hope it will still be in the archives so I can retrieve so my little one can listen to it when she grows up.

        • Jay
          July 8, 2014

          I know, right?! Celi is truly blessed!

          Yeah! Willie got it made! lol

          Oh yeah! That would be amazing!

          Thank you so much for listening and sharing your thoughts Ariel.

  • Renatha
    July 6, 2014

    Wonderful post. I must say that when I first saw this podcast I was a little hesitate on responding because I am experiencing a lot in this area. Peer pressure from friends in indulging in sex is and can be a lot to deal with in today’s society when others aren’t in agreenance. But Celi made a good point about looking out for your own interest even if others don’t. It’s good that your significant other is very supportive and that’s a true blessing. I would say that men should be mature enough like Jay mentioned to be mentally mature to prevent anything further from happening. Women should open there mouths and just be honest with men and trust in god if he is the man for you he will respect your celibacy decisions and stick by your side. It’s very hard to be celibate until marriage very hard but I find that staying busy, praying, n praying, praying, and praying some more (yess it takes a lot of prayer at times) but just like any other hurdle in life if you want to overcome you can by staying positive and god will bless it. I am determined because I know god will never steer me in the wrong direction as long as I continue to put him first. Patience is a virtue. Willie you made some good points in this podcast n it’s always good to hear men who respect there marriage and wouldn’t jeopardize it due to morals. God bless to you and wife.

    • Jay
      July 6, 2014

      Peer pressure is no joke! You’re right about that.

      I’m curious, how have you been dealing with the pressure that your friends have been placing on you?

      Also, have you spoke to them about how that pressure is affecting you?

      Yes, Celi is truly blessed to have a partner who respects her decision and supports her along their journey together.

      “Women should open there mouths and just be honest with men and trust in
      god if he is the man for you he will respect your celibacy decisions and
      stick by your side.”

      YES!!! Say it Renatha! That is a MUST. Women, nor men, can just assume that the other person knows or understands. They need to open their mouths and communicate to them directly about how they feel and what they need, want and expect.

      LOL! You are so right about the importance of prayer. It is VITAL!

      I am so glad that you are committed to your celibacy journey. I truly believe that God will reward you, and everyone else who’s made this decision, for obeying, respecting and honoring Him.

      You’re right. Willie did share some very valuable insights and I am so grateful for that. It was truly a blessing to have such an amazing discussion with both Celi and Willie.

      Thank you Renatha for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. I appreciate it more than you know!

  • Renatha
    July 7, 2014

    I have been dealing with the pressures that my friends have been placing on me by several ways. I am glad that you asked me that question and my answers are that I decide not to be around them when those conversations arise. I have explained to some of my closest friends my decision and they have been supportive but for those who are not then I just inform them why I am doing this and if they feel it will jeopardize the friendship then we should talk about it because I will not jeopardize myself just to fit in or just because everyone is having sex. Some people act like it’s a new fashion trend or I am missing out on something and I should change my values but I let them know my mind is set. All I know is that when god blesses me with a husband (in his timing not mines) that he will be a lucky man and I am lucky women because we both took the time to value god before our own desires and have self control and to always put GOD first. As for me or anyone else who can relate when I think about all that god has done for me throughout my life I want to shout lol as well I want to never give up because he is making me a stronger women everyday and I can’t do this without GOD.

    • Jay
      July 7, 2014

      Thank you so much for answering my question Renatha.

      That’s a great way to deal with the pressure of friends who don’t completely support your decision to be celibate.

      If they can’t understand why you’ve made that decision, that’s one thing. However, not supporting your decision or trying to pressure you to jeopardize or compromise your convictions are not things that real, true and good friends would do.

      You are so right. With God supporting us, we have nothing to worry about. He is more than capable of strengthening and sustaining us!

  • Alisa
    August 18, 2016

    This discussion is about celibacy in a relationship. Also, is a person celibate if they masturbate? The answer is no. If you masturbate, you are NOT celibate. FACT. Married or unmarried, if you masturbate you NOT celibate. First you have to define what celibacy is.

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