21: Dangers of Droppin the Drawls Too Soon

Have you ever found yourself in a compromising situation?


You know the kind…


You’re with someone you like.


The vybe between you two is surreal.


You start touchin…rubbin…kissin…


Things are getting heated.


Then you remember…you’ve only known this person for a short period of time.


It’s too soon to be doing what y’all are doing.


How do you stop them?


More importantly, how do you stop yourself?


I can attest that situations like those are extremely difficult to get out of, especially with your drawls up.


However, it is possible to stop yourself before you have sex with someone too soon.


To learn how you can avoid placing yourself in compromising situations like that and possibly making the mistake of having sex with someone too soon, you must listen to the latest podcast episode, ‘Dangers of Droppin the Drawls Too Soon’:



If you know someone who can benefit from this please share it with them, by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.


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Episode Title: Danger of Droppin the Drawls Too Soon


Guests: Celi Marie DeanFollow Her on Twitter * Willie Stylez Follow Him on Twitter


Check out Celi Marie Dean’s book, Recommitted: It’s Not Too Late


Music: Mae Oriel – Can’t Say No * Vanessa Elisha – Ocean



  • The first thing you always see somebody saying is, ‘I want to get to know you better.’ They don’t really want to get to know you better. They want to know how they can get in your pants.” – Willie Stylez


  • “You gotta understand that every time you lay down with somebody, you are creating a bond and a connection that you may never be able to get rid of.” – Jay


  • “One of the biggest signs that you’re having sex too soon is when you really don’t know where your relationship is going.” – Celi Marie Dean


Key Lessons:

  • Signs that you are about to have sex too soon
  • The power of dating with purpose and intention
  • The benefit of building a relationship before having sex
  • The importance of knowing yourself and your sexual and emotional triggers


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • Make sure you know your status
  • Getting to know someone should be a requirement before having sex
  • The benefit of making an investment into a relationship


Dangers & Difficulties

  • The dangers of having sex with someone you haven’t taken the time to get to know
  • Dealing with pressure from your partner to have sex
  • The difficulty of dealing with the fear of loneliness


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Jay explains the dangers men face when they make a decision to have sex with women too quickly
  • Willie shares an experience he had in college with a woman that almost when too far, too soon
  • Celi Marie Dean tells about the relationship she had with an ex who she gave her all too, but she still wasn’t enough for him


Hold Yourself Accountable:

No one can rush you or make you do something you don’t want to do.


Take control and acknowledge that only you can make yourself have sex before you’re ready.


Apply the Principles:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3(NKJV)


Take Action Now:

  1. Know yourself
  2. Stick to your convictions 
  3. Only have sex when both you and your partner are truly ready


Show Some Love:

Please leave me a comment or a private message answering the following question:

When is it too soon to have sex for you?


  • Autumn
    July 4, 2014

    I think we all know the risks and drawbacks of having sex too soon. But there are a lot of reasons why this happens. Also, what if you do have sex. Is it all over? According to another guest from a previous podcast, it’s difficult to go back. What if the chemistry is at a 10? Heck, with chemistry like that even holding hands is very stimulating. It is difficult to wait. I think patience, as Willie said with Twitter vs. CNN, doesn’t just start with sex. It’s about being patient in general. It’s hard to get everything in your life quickly and then wait with sex, you know?

    Outside of this website, people are out there having sex a lot and sex early. Teens through 60s. I don’t think age has much to do with this. What if one or both of you are getting very sexually frustrated? Some people have a high drive. What then? It’s kind of hard to remember the dangers during that time. I think we need real advice how to deal with these situations.

    I liked the soul tie discussion. That everyone you sleep with you have some tie with, dormant or no, for the rest of your life. Interesting.

    When is it too soon to have sex for me?

    Most excellent question. I think it’s too soon actually when I most desire to have it. Why? I know myself better. I just don’t think clearly then. I need a lot of time to get my head clear from that.I need some space. But you know me, impatience girl. 🙂 I worry that if I take that time I’ll lose the desire. (I’m not really thinking about the guy at that time or losing him. I can find another guy. But a guy I actually want to have sex with? That is rare.) I keep telling myself that it’s okay and maybe even necessary to lose that desire. But it’s a journey, I tell you. I’m just being honest. Sticking to your convictions doesn’t always feel great in the short run.

    • Jay
      July 4, 2014

      That’s an excellent point Autumn. Patience is something that must be applied to every aspect of our lives, not just sex.

      You’re right. This is an issue that isn’t limited to a certain age group. Rushing vs waiting is an individual mindset.

      Yes, soul ties are an element that is often not discussed or taken into account.

      Very interesting answer Autumn. I really love your honesty.

      That is so true. In the short-term sticking to our convictions seems like torture (in some ways), but as time progresses and those initial feelings dissipate it pays off in the long run. I appreciate you pointing that out. Thanks!

  • Autumn
    July 4, 2014

    I had just one more thought based on podcasts and discussions here. When do you really get to know someone? Everyone says wait for sex until you know someone. But honestly, you could wait a long time. You could have sex or not. It is just odd when you get to know the actual person. Just some moment happens, good or bad, and you just know. Could happen in a week (though less likely). Could happen in three years. Could even happen long after you’re married. But when you know, you know. Waiting makes it more likely that you’ll know the person, but it’s not a guarantee.

    • Jay
      July 5, 2014

      That’s a good point. It does take time to truly get to know a person.

      Personally, I say wait for sex until you know someone because if I’m marrying a woman, I believe I know enough to commit to her for a lifetime. Therefore, by default, I know her well enough to have sex with her.

      As we know, everyone is different and some people may know a person sooner than marriage. Ultimately, it all depends on the individual.

      • Autumn
        July 5, 2014

        I tell you waiting for marriage and waiting until you’re ready are two very different things. If you are waiting for marriage (and not just for sex) and thinking about a partner as a potential spouse/parent of your children that’s just a different frame of mind altogether. I wish everyone who entered a sexual relationship thought that way (they used to) but that ship has sailed for most of western culture.

        Did I miss the addition to this podcast?

        • Jay
          July 5, 2014

          Sadly, you’re right, there aren’t many people who still think that way.

          No, you didn’t miss it. I just hadn’t published it on the website yet.

          Episode 22 is now available here on the site.

          You can find it here: http://righttoreallove.com/22

          I apologize for the delay.

          • Autumn
            July 5, 2014

            Yeah. I can see why other women worry about losing the man.Because there are lots of people that aren’t waiting. But well, we can be a vocal minority, right? 🙂

            No worries about the delay! Hope you are getting your barbecue on, it’s a holiday!

          • Jay
            July 6, 2014

            Yes, we definitely can! 🙂

            Thank you for being so understanding. Oh yeah! I’ve been enjoying the holiday. How about you?

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