312: How to Choose the Right Mate? (Part 2)


How to Choose the Right Mate? (Part 2) with Nancy Arroyo RuffinIn this episode of the Listen Up Ladies series, Jay continues his discussion with author and poet Nancy Arroyo Ruffin by addressing the question: What are signs that someone is not the right person?




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Episode Title: How to Choose the Right Mate? (Part 2)


Guest: Nancy Arroyo Ruffin Follow Her on Twitter


Check out Nancy’s amazing books and poetry



  • “When you want the best, you have to be willing to give the best.” – Nancy Arroyo Ruffin


Questions We Address and Answer:

  • What factors can make it difficult for someone to know if someone is right for them or not?
  • What are signs that someone is not the right person?


Key Lessons and Takeaways:

  • The danger of confusing lust for love.
  • Why we must prepare ourselves for the right person.
  • The importance of seeking God’s counsel and listening to Him.



  • Nancy shares how she knew her husband was the right man for her.



  • He who finds a wife finds what is good
    and receives favor from the Lord.Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)


Book Recommendation:





Free Resource:

DUMP YOUR BAGGAGE: Discover how to enter your next relationship at your best!


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  • Julia
    August 18, 2016

    Just wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed the first few segments of this discussion. I am thankful for an outlet that elicits a healthy male and female perspective, and it’s refreshing to hear tasteful adult conversation that is uplifting; thought-provoking, and relevant to audiences of the Christian faith and other belief groups.
    Nancy, thanks for pointing out the imperativeness of being the person you hope to marry. It’s crazy to ask someone to be what you are not willing to reciprocate, but there are some who have the mentality that they are such a prize, that anyone would be lucky to have them just as they are…which is why many of them are still single and/or regretting settling with the person they played for the okey-doke. I believe marriage requires mutual participation, but becomes a hardship when two seemingly unfit persons yoke themselves together and think their marriage will magically evolve into something great with minimal to no effort (never been married but it doesn’t sound feasible). The sacrifice and effort put into preparation is a gift to your future spouse that says, “I valued you this much before I even knew you to earnestly become the spouse you deserved and am grateful we will have the opportunity to share our unique gifts with one another.”
    This is great content and I look forward to the subsequent convos. Awesome job as always. Blessings!!! #foreverfan

    • Jay
      August 21, 2016

      Hey Julia! How’s it going?

      Thank you so much for taking the time out to listen to this series and share your thoughts with us. I truly appreciate it.

      I totally agree with you that preparation is a gift to our future spouse…and even ourselves too! lol

      Thank you for your kind words and I hope you continue to find value in the discussions.

      You can expect a shout out on a future show too.

      Thank you for your continued support and may God bless you!

  • Job Aya
    October 29, 2017

    one think i notice in my view is that REAL relationships seem to lack drama. this maybe because in those relations the individuals have chosen to be patient, unconditionally loving, and have made companionship the main focus of their relationship rather than sex. not to say there isnt arguing, but it often lacks the drama/emotional charge which is observed in media and discussions on relationship. they value their relationship more than any argument.

    • Jay
      October 31, 2017

      You’ve made some great points. I really appreciate you sharing them with us. I agree that real relationships should be free to drama.

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