73: How Men Feel About Commitment (Part 1)



How do men really feel about it?




Listen to the latest episode of MenChat and discover how men feel about commitment.



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Episode Title: How Men Feel About Commitment


The Men:



  • “When you’re committed to someone all your ides for yourself become ideas for both you and your partner.” – Justin Stenstrom


  • “Guys want to find that right girl before they commit to anything.” – Justin Stenstrom


  • “There is a complete difference between how guys look at relationships and how women look at relationships.” – Richie Frieman


  • “You can fall in love with the way a person looks, but you have to fall in love with how they act and how they treat you.” – Richie Frieman


  • “God really is the Lord of the rings.” – Dr. Tommy Shavers
  • JOhn Crawford
    December 15, 2014

    Yo, J-Shan here to leave some feedback for this episode:

    • Jay
      December 15, 2014

      Hey J-Shan! How’s it going?

      Thank you so much for swinging by to listen to the podcast and share your thoughts and feedback. I really appreciate it.

      Commitment is an essential part of life, whether it’s being viewed from a romantic perspective or otherwise.

      For example, if we aren’t committed to our purpose in life, it’s not likely that we will fulfill it.

      I’m curious to know more about your thoughts on the connection between commitment and the validation of manhood.

      Would you mind sharing more of your perspective? Thanks.

      • JOhn Crawford
        December 16, 2014

        Sure thing; I view Commitment as a concept separate from Manhood and how it is validated or defined. Again, I’m more Spiritual than Religious so bear with me as I (try to) explain:
        regardless of How a Man Protects, Provides, and/or Parent, his Masculinity/Manhood isn’t or shouldn’t be anchored by the fact that he is Commited TO doing those things. As much media fanfare as Deabeat Dads, Sexual Predators and other Negative Personas that Men occupy, the Good Men that “do what they are Supposed to Do/Oligated to Do” don’t get that praise or spotlight- for Some, a PERSON should Do Right even when nobody is looking, and for Others it would be nice to get Some Sort of pushback not just by Other Men,. but by the Mothers, Sisters, Aunts, Wives, Daughters and other Women that do have and see Good Men in Force…..
        Be He a Stay-at-home Dad or Husband (that has been Agreed Upon by the Two People in the Relationship/Marriage) or THE Majority Breadwinner, a Man has many ways that he does the 3 Ps- on His Terms, by the Approval and Satisfaction of His Family, and in the Eyes of God. The Memes, TV/Films and Other People’s Exeriences are not of the Couple-at-Hand’s situation or Lifestyle or Journey where the steps of paths are not the same or even equal; I’m not You, You aren’t Me, and We aren’t the Next Man or Men walking on Earth with the Same Circumstances and/or Significant Others or Interest(s). What you do, Jay, isn’t what I’m Doing or Choose to Do and Vice Versa and I can’t place my POV of Manhood and Commitment on you and Likewise.

        • JOhn Crawford
          December 16, 2014

          Military Service was the Last Thing I thought I would be doing as far as how I want(ed) to Provide and Protect my Daughter- or even seek Validation in Myself, but this is the Path I’ve Chosen, God-Led or Not. You and billions of other Guys have your Own Roads to travel with obstacles that will allow you to be Defined By or Not Defined By. Some Guys “are their Jobs/Careers” while for Others it’s Something they Do or a Piece of Themselves, and the Skills to do a Job/Career aren’t the same as Being a Husband, father, Brother, Son, etc
          IDK if I clarified or went in circles but that’s My Perspective

          • Jay
            December 16, 2014

            I appreciate you elaborating on your perspective J-Shan. I really appreciate that.

            I definitely agree that each man must walk his own journey and, as a result, each of us will validate our manhood in different ways.

            Yes, there will be some overlap, but there will also be differences too.

            Personally, I think it’s when men begin looking towards outside sources to validate their manhood that they run into issues. People are fickle and it can be dangerous when we try to root ourselves in others.

            However, as important as it is for a man to validate his manhoood within, rather than from other people, I believe there still must be a root in which his standard of manhood is grounded.

            That, too, is something that’s likely to differ from man to man.

            That’s why I believe it is so important for a woman to understand the man that she is considering being with. If she is unaware of where he is rooted, that can be a recipe for disaster.

            The same also applies to a man. He must know where the woman he is interested in is rooted too.

          • JOhn Crawford
            December 16, 2014

            The episode where you and your guests spoke about what to expect before you get into a relationship touched a little on it in the sense that ppl need to know where a Person is at In the Moment of Meeting, however, sometimes it is a bit unfair to Condemn HOW a Man/Women “got” there. Some Folks had to travel the Dark Tunnels, and Others may have had Sunshine the entire time.

            One could Say I am definitely a Midwest Guy- my Life’s Journey has been as “interesting” and Undpredictable as the Weather Itself in Northeast Ohio; I’m Used to it and used to Cold Winters, Hot Summers, and the Wild Changes during the Seasons any given Year. Not many could or would understand unless He/She have experienced it themselves or Know Someone who did.

            There are Core Pillars that do exist to Manhood; Hard Work (no matter What Work it is), Dedication to Self and to Others (regardless Who it Is/They Are), Integrity in General and Towards Others, Instinct to At Least Survive, and a Beliefe in Something Bigger than Himself, (be it God or whatever Higher Power that is Out There). We Humans have long been proven to NOT be the Center of the World and Universe, and as long as We Breathe there’s Something we must do or experience before We return to Dust and Our Souls go back from Where they Came From- or To the Next Lifetime.

          • Jay
            December 18, 2014

            That’s a good point. No one should be condemned for there past. However, a person shouldn’t get upset if someone is unwilling to accept their past and continue pursuing a more serious relationship with them. Both people have the free will to make their own choices, independent of the other.

            I totally believe that we all have a purpose during our lives. There is no doubt about that.

            Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and perspectives with me J-Shan. I really appreciate it.

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