26: I Wish I Never Had Sex

Have you ever thought about how different your life would be if you never had sex?


If so, you’re not alone.


I know I’ve thought about it before.


So has my guest on the latest podcast, Tasha Mac. During our discussion we will examine, at length, how life would be if we never had sex. Listen below:



If you know someone who can benefit from this please share it with them, by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.


[Tweet “I Wish I Never Had Sex #RTRL”]




Episode Title: I Wish I Never Had Sex


Guests: Tasha MacFollow Her on Twitter


Music: India.Arie – Just Do You



  • I do not have to have physical intimacy, prior to marriage, to know that I am loved and I am wanted.” – Tasha Mac


  • “Trying to satisfy my flesh, for a short period of time, does not satisfy my soul.” – Tasha Mac


  • ” The vagina is the greatest source of pleasure, but it’s also the greatest source of our pain.” – Tasha Mac


  • “Once you get naked with a person, everything changes.” – Tasha Mac


  • “Diseases do not come with a name or a face. You do not know who’s carrying what or who has what.” – Tasha Mac


  • “Once you’ve been intimate with a person, you can’t get that back.” – Tasha Mac


Key Lessons:

  • How knowing what you want for yourself and out of life can assist with refraining from having sex until marriage
  • The benefits of a couple remaining celibate until marriage
  • The reasons why a person isn’t truly committed to you unless you’re married
  • Our perspective vs. God’s perspective


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  •  The pleasure and pain that the vagina brings women
  • The emotional instability and pain that can accompany casual sex
  • Women believe they can NEVER be bad sexually


Dangers & Difficulties

  • How to respond if someone tells you they wish they never had sex with you
  • How to deal with peer pressure to have sex before marriage


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Tasha Mac shares how Jesus Christ’s love for her helped her learn to love and value herself, including her body
  • Tasha Mac explains how, when she was younger, she seeked sex to fill a void for love in her life


Hold Yourself Accountable:

Don’t put yourself in a position to do something you may regret.


Apply the Principles:

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)


Take Action Now:

  1. If you want to stop having sex until you’re married, first make the decision to do that
  2. Develop a strong conviction as to why you want to wait until marriage before having sex
  3. Trust that God will provide you with the ability to resist temptations
  4. Take the first step and lean on God whenever you need to


Show Some Love:

Please leave me a comment or a private message answering the following question:

Would you or have you ever considered waiting until marriage to have sex?


  • Autumn
    July 19, 2014

    I want to say how much I appreciate Tasha sharing about her life and experiences. It’s good to hear how she’s healed and moved forward.

    I didn’t consider waiting for marriage because for most of my life I didn’t want to get married. And if you don’t want marriage then it’s not a goal to wait for. You can still wait with conviction, but just for other reasons. I’m in my early 40s and picky. Which is good. But I didn’t want to be a 45 or 50 year old virgin. The curiosity alone would have killed me long ago! I’m glad to know exactly what I’m putting aside for a while. Makes it easier for me.

    Are you saying if a person doesn’t want to get married, then by Kingdom Principles, they don’t have sex, ever? Does everyone who follows Kingdom Principles *have* to get married? Do you believe there will be some negative consequence to never getting married?

    I’m curious.

    The only other comment I have is that sometimes marriages break up. Even when you’ve done everything right, waited a long time, really know the person. A person can still transmit an illness, you have a child, etc. I think if I had waited and *then* the marriage broke up I would be even more devastated. But I’ll end on a positive. I hope everyone’s marriage ends well.

    • Jay
      July 21, 2014

      Yes, Tasha was so candid and transparent. I loved that and I’m so happy that she has reached a place of peace in her life. That is truly a blessing.

      I can totally understand what you mean. I honestly can’t imagine being a 45 or 50 year old virgin either. I’m sure it’s possible, but it’s not something I’d personally want to experience.

      Those are some serious questions you posed.

      1) According to the Word of God, in 1 Corinthians 7:1-2, if a man or woman desires to have sex and is unable to withstand the temptation to have sex, they are to get married before having sex, in order to not commit sexual immorality before the sight of God.

      If they don’t want to get married, then according to God’s Word and His will, they should not have sex either, because sex is something that is reserved for marriage, between a husband and a wife.

      2) No, everyone who lives according to God’s will, purpose and Kingdom Principles does not have to get married.

      3) No, there are absolutely no negative consequences to never getting married.

      However, that’s assuming the person has lived their life according to God’s will, purpose and Kingdom Principles, which includes not having sex. Yet, simply not getting married is not a sin or a violation of any of God’s Kingdom Principles.

      Yes, there are benefits to being married, but it isn’t required by God.

      I can understand why you may be devastated by the marriage breaking up. However, if you lived according to God’s will, purpose and Kingdom Principles, there would be no reason for you to truly be devastated.


      Because in God’s sight you would have been obedient to Him, which is always the highest priority.

      Yes, I pray that those who enter into marriage are filled with peace, joy and happiness too.

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, perspectives and amazing questions Autumn! I really appreciate it!

      • Autumn
        July 21, 2014

        So basically, if you follow Kingdom Principles and choose not to get married, you’re agreeing to be an eternal virgin. Or celibate indefinitely if you have already had sex. That’s something.

        I would have been devastated when I was younger. Good point about having more loyalty to God than your husband, but I thought a woman was growing closer to God *through* her relationship with her husband. But hey, I don’t know much about that stuff. It would have been tough, though.

        I’m glad my life has gone as it has so far. I think it’s important not to have too many regrets and I don’t.

        • Jay
          July 21, 2014

          Yes, essentially, if a person chooses to live in accordance to God’s will and Kingdom Principles and not get married, they will be an “eternal virgin”, if they’ve never had sex. If they have had sex, they will be choosing to remain celibate for the rest of their natural life.

          With the fleshly desires that we have, especially living in such an overly sexualized society, that can be a very difficult choice to make. However, it’s not impossible. Also, if a person chooses to get married, it’s not a choice they have to make.

          I believe that we can grow closer to God with our partners, but growing through another person removes the focus from God. It’s as if that person is the gateway in which to get to God and that’s not the case. We all have the ability to grow closer to God directly, if we choose to.

          That’s a blessing that you don’t have many regrets. At the end of it all, we must make our own choices. You know?

    • Tasha Mac
      July 22, 2014

      Thank you so much Autumn. I agree with everything Jay said in his reply. My healing is a daily process that God’s grace has afforded me to have. Hopefully, my experiences will be able to help someone else make better choices when it comes to intimacy.

      • Jay
        July 22, 2014

        Hey Tasha! Thank you so much for taking the time to swing by and respond to the comments left by the R.E.A.L. Lovers. I truly appreciate that, more than you know.

    • Job Aya
      October 29, 2017

      i think it all depends what u want and percieve to be important.but in the end its your choice who u choose to share your body with. i think people under estimate how much of a big decision it is.

      • Jay
        October 31, 2017

        Thank you for sharing. I hope you found value in the discussion. God bless you!

  • Julia
    July 21, 2014

    Jay, thank you for sharing my email. I had no clue you were going to read it in depth but I am glad that you did, and do hope that my personal insight proves beneficial to the Right to R.E.A.L. Love community.
    I was delighted by Tasha’s vulnerability to be transparent in discussing this topic and sharing from personal experiences. Mostly, I value her insight regarding couples having the necessary discussions and getting acquainted on every other level but the physical before pursuing sex. As a Christian, I stand firm in saying that I believe sex should be reserved for married persons only…that’s just my take. She’s right about our ‘flower’s’– they are a source of pleasure and can be the impetus for regret if not utilized wisely. This body part chiefly carries the greatest weight as it is responsible for introducing new life, and as I sat and watched a “My Teen is Pregnant and So am I” marathon, it dawned on me that these young girls (now mothers) only understood the vagina to be a source of pleasure and had no other association with it until they gave birth.
    This is why the sex talk is so important. Our young people are experimenting with all sorts of things and it’s up to us young-middle aged adults to fill in the gaps when possible. There are likely some youth and teens who we all know are experimenting with sex or at least considering it, and by the same token, they are clueless about their reproductive capacity and God’s purpose for their bodies. We uncles, aunts, godparents, neighbors and mentors have an awesome responsibility to speak life and truth in these young people before they wrack up mounds of regret.

    • Jay
      July 21, 2014

      You are very welcome! Thank you for allowing me to share it with the other R.E.A.L. Lovers and listeners.

      Yes, your insights were extremely beneficial. No doubt about that!

      I am so happy that you enjoyed Tasha transparency. That’s one of the things I enjoyed most too.

      I agree that having those discussion are a requirement and it is very sad that many women, and men, don’t truly understand the value and responsibility that accompanies that vagina…and even the penis.

      “We uncles, aunts, godparents, neighbors and mentors have an awesome responsibility to speak life and truth in these young people before they wrack up mounds of regret.”

      I agree with that statement completely! Yes, we do have a responsibility to teach our younger counterparts about their bodies and God’s will and purpose for them.

      Thank you so much for the valuable comment Julia. I truly appreciate it!

    • Job Aya
      October 29, 2017

      maybe its best to tell people please wait till your well informed.

  • Destiny's Truth
    July 21, 2014

    I truly enjoyed Tasha sharing on the podcast and can affirm that it is better to wait upon God, even if that may mean you never have an opportunity to get married. Now, someone may say that I am saying that because I am much older now and may not have to battle with my hormones and flesh warring so violently against my spirit man, but my journey started when I was very young, 23 years old. I was groomed by my family teachings and traditions that marriage was an expected goal or personal achievement, as well as having children. Yet, I never had the mindset that many women in my era held such as marrying because you wanted a home and security. I always wanted to marry for love and work with my spouse to achieve the many milestones we strive to mark our successes. When I met and grew to love a man that I hoped to marry and start a family with I wanted to do so without having sex until marriage, but I did not fully understand how to do that actually. So, in my thinking it was okay with God as long as we loved each other and remained faithful to each other until we got married. I also told myself that there were many people that were married that did not love each other like we did and marriage is first in the heart. That was my rationale for doing things my own way, since I did not know anyone that had ever remained a virgin until marriage.

    I found that if you are sincerely in love with God and want to please Him with your lifestyle and not just give Him lip service only, He will set you up and cause you to get it right. So when my partner and I had a dispute and he decided to walk a way from the relationship, God came into my life and comforted me. God, helped me through the pain of this break up and I learned to love God more than anyone or anything, even myself and my desires. My partner realized that I was a very special woman and he should not have let me go, so he came back seeking to reconcile after about 6 months. It was too late and I had changed and was no longer willing to have sex outside of the marriage union because I understood God’s Word and His expectations of me. My partner continued to pursue me and get back together and I told him that he would have to give his life to Jesus too. He told me he could not do it just for me and he was right, so we broke off the engagement and never had any interaction for over seven years.

    Seven years later, I had waited for God to bless me with a good man that loved Him and was a kingdom citizen, but it seemed that no one worthy of my time or attention ever showed up. When my ex-partner returned this time, I was entering a testing period that would define my future with God, and I was determined that I was not going to sacrifice not having a family and children just because I was not blessed by God with a godly companion. I reasoned that my partner and I did love each other deeply and my biological clock was ticking.(Like God did not know this, right). That was the very first time I ever used the term “alternative lifestyle” to describe my decision to resume having sex outside of marriage, having a child and moving out of my parents home as a single-mother, rather than as a proud bride. I do not regret my decision because I have a son that I would not want to imagine my life without, but times were hard emotionally and the kind of family unit I wanted for him, two parent home, was never a reality.

    I have shared this because so often we forget the struggles that young kingdom citizens face and judge them unfairly for having sex prematurely. I do not want to judge anyone’s decisions but just want to offer this as a caution to someone that may be thinking it is okay to do it your way and not wait for God. Yes, our lives are blessed and God has never failed to provide and shower my life and son’s with His goodness, but if I had waited and trusted God more I am certain the depression, rejection and questioning of my ability to truly assess another person’s character rightly and my own devalue of myself would not have been the fruits produced in my life for so many years. Making hard decisions are not easy, but they are always right when you do them according to God’s Word.

    I believe I have answered the question your posed this week in my comments above. Jay, I can’t thank you enough for having this forum and online community for your generation to share and learn together so many of the past blunders of kingdom children will not be your fates. You are truly being “helpers one of another” as we are admonished in the scriptures to be. God bless your guest, Tasha, all listeners and you for allowing me this opportunity to share a part of my experience with having sex before marriage.

    • Jay
      July 21, 2014

      WOW! Destiny this is such an amazing comment!

      I am so happy that you enjoyed the discussion with Tasha Mac. That truly means a lot to me.

      You shared some very personal experience and I really appreciate that more than you know. Thank you for being so honest and transparent. I pray that it will be a benefit to those who read your comment.

      “Making hard decisions are not easy, but they are always right when you do them according to God’s Word.”

      That is so TRUE!!!

      Thank you again for all that you shared. It means A LOT to me!!!! God bless you!

    • Autumn
      July 21, 2014

      Jay is right, that was an amazing comment. I really appreciated what you said about patience. It often seems that you’ll never find anyone worthy of you. Someone told me a few weeks ago, it actually is harder to find the right person when you set certain standards. But your comment reminded me about patience. Even if you are a 50-year-old virgin or childless. It’s just hard in those years waiting. I wish . . . there was something for that time, the waiting time. If you have God in your life, there is that.

      And at least in this little community, we have each other. Support helps!

      • Jay
        July 21, 2014

        I can’t imagine how that waiting must feel either Autumn. I’m sure it cannot be easy.

        Like Destiny stated, patience is vital.

        Also, like you stated, God is there to help us through that wait, if we allow Him to. That’s the key though, we must let Him in and allow Him to comfort us. If we don’t, His hands are tied and we are left to manage on our own, by our own choice to do so.

        I am so thankful for the R.E.A.L. Love community that God has established. It is truly a blessing and the support is absolutely amazing!

    • Tasha Mac
      July 22, 2014

      Destiny, Thank you so much for that wonderful comment. And, thank you for sharing your truth and listening to the show. I meant everything I said on the show. And, Jay makes it so easy to talk to him because he has a non-judgmental spirit. I truly stand by my decision to wait until marriage. It is the only choice for me because I truly desire to live a life that is pleasing unto the Lord. I pray I was able to help someone with my experiences that I’ve shared on this podcast.

      • Jay
        July 22, 2014

        I know for a fact that the experiences and insights that you shared will be beneficial to many people Tasha. Thank you so much for being so candid and transparent.

        You’re right, the decision truly boils down to pleasing the Lord. No doubt about that.

        Thank you for the kind words too. They mean a lot to me and I really enjoyed our discussion!

  • Tasha Mac
    July 22, 2014

    Again, I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to listen, and also make comments. I appreciate Jay for giving me an opportunity to express myself in such a candid way. God ordained marriage to be a beautiful unit between one husband and one wife. He said in His word, that the two become one flesh after marriage. That is what I’m waiting for. Someone I can be conjoined as one with.

    • Jay
      July 22, 2014

      I know that’s right! God knows what is best for us. We must be patient and trust Him.

      Thank you again for being a guest on the podcast. It was truly an honor and a pleasure to speak with you and learn so much from you.

      God bless you Tasha!

  • Jay
    July 26, 2014

    Hey Laney!

    Thanks a lot for swinging by and sharing your thoughts and perspective. I truly appreciate it.

    I don’t view your comment as confrontational. You’re providing a different perspective of interpretation of that verse.

    Thank you again for comment and I hope that you enjoyed the discussion with Tasha Mac.

    God bless you.

    • Laney
      July 28, 2014

      Thank you for being open to it! I always get nervous that someone might feel I am saying “you’re wrong, I’m right.” Which is not the case. They more I study the Bible, the more I realize there is so much more to it than what I learned in my Sunday school days and that I could be just as wrong as I could be right.

      • Jay
        July 30, 2014

        Of course!

        Your comments weren’t negative or offense, so I welcome them Laney.

        There is a lot that we all can learn. I appreciate you sharing what you’ve learned with us. Thank you!

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