It’s one of the greatest challenges for many parents…
Having to talk about sex with their child.
As challenging, scary or uncomfortable this talk may be, it is necessary.
Whether parents realize it or not, they are responsible for teaching their children the RIGHT things about sex.
Failure to do so may result in numerous hardships in the life of their child.
If you would like to be properly prepared to have the sex talk with your child, I implore you to listen to the latest podcast episode and pay very close attention to the valuable insights that my guest, Athena Moberg, shares. Listen Below:
If you know someone who can benefit from this, whether they are a parent or not, please share it with them, by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.
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SHOW NOTES
Episode Title: How to Prepare to Have the Sex Talk with Your Child
Guests: Athena Moberg – Follow Her on Twitter
Music: Tasha Cobbs – Happy * Joe ft. Fantasia – Love & Sex
Quotables:
- “Fear is the antithesis of love.” – Athena Moberg
- “Ignorance is a choice.” – Athena Moberg
- “When we give away something that is so precious, to someone who might not be that one person God created for us, we’re really allowing ourselves to get ripped off.” – Athena Moberg
Key Lessons:
- How parents can counteract against the fears they have about having the “sex talk” with their children
- Athena shares why it is vital to be under the “umbrella” of God
- The importance of how parents approach and discuss sex with their children
- Reasons why parents should encourage their children to wait until marriage before having sex
Hot Topics & Takeaways:
- Reasons why parents should think twice about using ‘baby talk’ when addressing sex with their children
- The impact social media has on the way parents teach and raise their children
- Quick, easy steps and changes that parents can begin making right now to improve their parenting
Dangers & Difficulties
- The danger of children learning about sex from the wrong sources
- The negative and damaging effects of children being exposed to sexual images
Experience is the Best Teacher:
- Athena tells the story of the first time she ever discussed sex with her son
- Athena confesses the biggest mistake she made raising her son that she implores other parents not to make with their children
Hold Yourself Accountable:
It is your responsibility to teach and protect your children. Teach them according to God’s will so that they will be under God’s protection too.
Apply the Principles:
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 6:22 (ESV)
Take Action Now:
- Start a calendar and develop a routine with your child
- Wake up before your child
- Read Proverbs every day with or to your child
- Pray with and over your child every day
Show Some Love:
Please leave me a comment or a private message answering the following question:
What is the most valuable lesson you learned about sex from your parents?
July 21, 2014
This show was awesome! Athena did a great job and provided valuable information for parents and future parents. Professionally, I go into schools and community organizations and talk to students about sexual violence. I also work with survivors of sexual assault. It still amazes me how little high school students know and how many myths they believe. I never want to be the first person they learn about sex from, but I am honored to be able to clear things up for them. Conversations need to start as young as possible, and use real words! There is nothing wrong with saying penis and vagina. We need to also teach about boundaries, consent, and coercion.
Like Athena said, sexual violence and how we learn about sex is correlated. Those conversations are a part of sexual violence prevention. It may seem scary, or uncomfortable but it is worth it to talk about sex in an honest way. Sex is everywhere and young people are soaking it all up. It’s our responsibility to make sure they are getting the right things. Hyper sexuality is so dangerous and it creates unrealistic expectations about sex. And as Athena mentioned, both boys and girls need to have these conversations. Nothing bothers me more than people that only teach our girls about not having sex, and teach our boys sex is what they should be doing. That imbalance in education leads to sexual violence, and unnecessary trauma.
Growing up I didn’t learn about sex from my parents. I knew I was not supposed to have sex and to cover my eyes if it was on the tv screen. My parents didn’t use real words. And as Athena said, I had family members that did not understand boundaries and limitations so I was introduced to sexual images at a very early age. It’s damaging and now that I have those conversations everyday, I realize how important and necessary they are.
Thank you Jay and Athena!
July 21, 2014
Yes!!! I agree with you Tonjie!
We do have a responsibility to the youth. There is no doubt about that.
You’re right that both boys and girls need to be taught about sex and God’s perspective on sex.
It’s sad how many people don’t understand the effects that certain things and experiences can have on children. Their minds are so impressionable.
Thank you so much for taking the time out to share your thoughts and experiences with us Tonjie. I am so happy that you enjoyed this discussion with Athena as much as you did!
July 21, 2014
Aloha Tonjie,
I am so blessed by your feedback! I concur with all you had to say about educating our children at a very young age. Not just as you say, “boys: get some and girls: cover your eyes and refrain”. This short-sighted stance does perpetuate sexual violence in all age groups. Well said. I am filled to overflowing and grateful for the opportunity to share my experiences with this incredible audience.
Thank you Jay and thank you for the comment Tonjie!
Stay blessed,
Athena
July 21, 2014
Hey Athena!
I truly appreciate you taking the time out to swing by to read and respond to Tonjie’s comment.
Thank you so much and God bless you!
July 21, 2014
It is my pleasure and privilege to engage with your audience. If you can think of any other ways for me to add value to your listeners, please shout it out so I can be a significant part of their “walking away changed”.
God is so awesome!
July 21, 2014
Will do Athena. Thank you again!
Yes, He is!
July 22, 2014
I was so touched by Athena’s shared experiences on being the first to have the sex talk with your child and how her son came to her with every curiosity and she responded promptly and honestly. That was so inspiring. My son and I have always had a very open relationship and the ability to discuss anything, yet I could not remember having the sex talk with him. I had expressed the principle of waiting until marriage and assumed that he would abstain because I was asking God to direct and lead his life in the right direction. Yet, we must do more than pray we must act by giving them godly instructions. I lived a godly live before him and never exposed him to anything sexual in nature. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of waiting for him to come to me and he never did. I am disappointed in myself for not seeking him out and encouraging him to talk about these matters more when he was younger. I told him to tell me if anyone touched him or did anything that was inappropriate, but our conversations were vague. God has blessed him to be a very responsible young man and I am so pleased with his decision now to live according to God’s Word. God blessed and taught me how to raise a godly man for Him and for that I am so thankful.
Yet, I believe that we must talk to our children and let them know these topics are not taboo. Do not avoid them because they are awkward and do not make assumptions. Explain inappropriate touching, media and language. We should not allow our children to do slumber parties when we do not know the parents personally and this holds for family members, as well. I was exploited sexually by a family members and friends when I was very young and knew too much about sex too soon. I was raised in a godly environment and my grandmother was very strict so I did not actually lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. However, I had the wrong understanding about my body and sex. I was not promiscuous but I was very shy and felt a need to keep my body covered. I had a perfect body shape and when I went to the beach I felt a need to cover up. I felt that if men did not see my body that they would not think of me only as an object for sex. God has healed me and I learned many valuable lessons in this regard.
I am praying that Athena and her son’s relationship is reconciled and healed completely, because she like many single mothers are over protective and do not act out of a motive to control our children, but to shield them from the hurts we have experienced. I want Athena to forgive herself and not judge herself so harshly in the matter, because when we know better we do better. God bless Athena, Jay, all listeners, and even those that may have just happened upon this site for this very timely message.
Jay, you keep setting the bar of excellency higher and higher. Keep on doing what God is directing you to do, because it is going to impact countless families and individuals. Hallelujah!
July 22, 2014
This is another great comment Destiny! Thank you so much for all of the experiences and insights that you continue to share with us.
“We must do more than pray we must act by giving them godly instructions.”
I agree with that statement completely. Children need those godly instructions shared with them verbally and directly.
I am definitely praying that Athena and her son’s relationship is reconciled too. She is such a sweetheart with a pure spirit. She deserves the best possible relationship with her son. I know that God can heal things for them both. No doubt about that.
Thank you so much for your prayers and the encouraging words. That truly mean a lot to me. I will continue on the journey that God has set me on. Having you and all of the other R.E.A.L. Lovers in my corner is truly a blessing!
July 23, 2014
Destiny, I am moved to tears by your compassionate prayers and steadfast faith. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. May The Lord bless you and keep you close to HIM always!
July 23, 2014
Thank you Athena. God is so awesome! Look how he brought everything full circle when you had the negative experience when you accepted Christ and then you had the wonderful opportunity to make his experience positive and affirming for your son. Jesus, was saying I have not forgotten you daughter and all that you suffered. He will restore and it will be much sooner than you think. May God continue to richly bless you.
July 24, 2014
God has surely put my feet on a rock and placed a new song in my mouth, a song of praise! He has also restored the years the Locust had eaten! I am truly blessed and grateful for every situation. I will give thanks and praise in all circumstances!!
July 22, 2014
Ok I know I’ve said that other podcasts were my favs but this by far was the ultimate! I say that because as a single parent I can relate to Athena. In fact I can relate to almost 90% of her experiences all the way down to sharing her birthday.
I learned some new things from this episode. I never thought of my older relatives’ pornographic magazines as sexual abuse. It makes total sense. As for songs that utilize sounds of people having sex I must admit they disgust me. I don’t even like songs that make sexual references these days.
I grew up in a Christian home but there were a lot of things that weren’t right happening there. Lot’s of mixed messages. I saw/heard too much too soon in both my mom and dad’s homes. This really shaped how I viewed sex as well as marriage. I did not have a high regard nor respect for either (sex,marriage, or parents).
I give props to Athena for taking it upon herself to teach her child at an early age about sex. I taught my daughter the medical names for her body parts when she was 3 years old. She has been attending daycare since she was 15 months old. Should anything have happened I wanted her to be able to tell me and use proper terminology. My BFF and I still laugh til this day when we think about her saying “vajama” (pronounced like pajama) instead of vagina. She shocked me the other day when she said that my friend’s dog had a big penis. I was like great she remembers what to call it. I didn’t shame her. Why should I?
I was telling Jay and Athena on twitter that my dad held on way too tight well into college and beyond. I was 23 years old in school in 8 hours away from home and I had to call daily to check in. What?? It didn’t stop me from doing all of the things he was afraid I was doing. It just gave him reassurance I was still alive out there I guess. I must admit as a result of this and just not having an overall close relationship with him I do not call.
Since I allow my daughter to make her own mistakes, give her room to make age appropriate decisions, and I show her that I trust her she and I have an open and honest relationship. My daughter knows she can tell me anything. I let her know I will get mad at some of the things but I won’t stay mad and I don’t rub her face in her mistakes the way my father did me. But as Athena said, I have a daughter with a strong Leo personality she wouldn’t have me micromanaging her anyway. She doesn’t take junk from anyone, not even me. She respects me and her elders but you are not going to do her any kind of way. I am grateful to God for this.
Just because we are parents that doesn’t mean we automatically have the right to speak into our child’s lives. It has to be earned. I couldn’t agree more. It reminds of Bill Cosby, “I brought you in this world I can take you out.” Ah no you can’t. Parent’s are vessels by which children come. Our kids ultimately belong to God and they are given to us on loan.
July 22, 2014
I’m with you Ariel! This is my new favorite too. Athena seriously brought it!!!
That is so wild that you two share the same birthday. That is such a cool coincidence!
I can relate to the music thing too. My taste has changed drastically. The type of music I used to blast annoys me now when I hear it being played. lol
“Vajama” is hilarious and so cute!
I wonder where the balance is for parents where they don’t hold their children too closely, but also are there when they need them.
I’m glad that you and your daughter have such an open and honest relationship. That is such a blessing!
“Just because we are parents that doesn’t mean we automatically have the right to speak into our child’s lives. It has to be earned.”
That is such a powerful revelation that I believe a lot of parents are unaware of. I’m so glad that Athena shared that.
“Our kids ultimately belong to God and they are given to us on loan.”
That’s TRUTH!
Outstanding comment Ariel!!! Thank you so much for sharing your persona experiences and lessons with us. I really appreciate it!
July 24, 2014
Good discussion Jay, Athena. Truly enjoyed.
The podcast brought back childhood memories for myself. Like Jay, I’ve never had the “birds and bees” talk with my mom nor dad (dad passed away when I was 8). All I can remember is her telling me to not have kids with a woman if I didn’t love the woman. Of course I didn’t understand what she meant by that. I sorta took it as one of those things I’d understand once I became older and mature.
At age 16, I dated (I guess you can call it dating) a 32 year old woman. She was a friend of my dad’s side of the family. So I’d say that is how I learned about sex, sex talk. To the day, my mom has remained in the blind about this relationship. While it only lasted one summer, I am sure everyone around me noticed the change afterward.
I had the talk with my oldest daughter, but it was only after her mom and I learned that she had lost her virginity. Long story short: I basically assured my child that there are roads to travel in life and certain behaviors place us onto certain roads. And I gave perfect examples of what the end of each road entails. Although I don’t really know if she understood what I was saying, then, I’m definitely sure she does now. My oldest daughter routinely schools her two younger sisters about the “birds and the bees.”
How has my perspective about sex changed? Hm. I think sex can be a powerful tool for the man and woman, yoked, and in mutual and conjugal love.
July 25, 2014
Hey Don! Thank you so much for taking the time out to listen to the podcast and share your thoughts and experiences with us. I’m so glad that you enjoyed it too.
I can only imagine the things you learned from that woman during that summer.
That’s great that you were able to share those insights with your daughter and she is now sharing them with her younger sisters.
“I think sex can be a powerful tool for the man and woman, yoked, and in mutual and conjugal love.”
That’s a great point Don!
July 25, 2014
I really enjoyed listening to the podcast & this week’s guest, Athena!
I respected the fact that she was willing to share her confession to listeners out there explaining how her biggest mistake as a single mother was being overbearing. I also liked how she took scenes from the movie Fireproof (my favorite movie) to make her point regarding the oneness of marriage. And lastly I could definitely relate to her when she accepted christ into her life & was so excited about it but didn’t get much excitement from close relatives, same situation with me! Again great discussion, I really enjoyed it. You guys are truly amazing! Keep doing what you’re doing! God bless
July 26, 2014
Hey Brianna! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here on the website in a comment. I truly appreciate that.
I am so glad that you enjoy the discussion with Athena and took so many valuable insights from it. That is truly a blessing!
Watching Fireproof this weekend is definitely on my list of things to do.
God bless you and thanks a lot for your continued support!
July 26, 2014
Thanks Brianna! Enjoy your weekend too!
July 29, 2014
I very much appreciate Athena’s inspiring truth and insight. It’s great that she and her son found a level where they could entertain thoughts, facts and curiosities about sex. It is so admirable that she saw the value in her son so much that she ventured to that difficult psychological place all parents should go and gave him the 411 on S.E.X. There is so much power in the word ‘sex’ and the world confirms this through it’s depiction (albeit inappropriate) of what it really is. So strange that people have no issue getting naked with one another and experimenting with all sorts of materials, positions, and fantasies; but find it difficult to actually have a healthy talk about sex. This goes to show that sex truly is more than a physical activity, but a psychological; spiritual and emotional context of the interactions between human beings.
We must become educated about sex in order to truly say we are in control of our own bodies and free will to have sex ,or better yet, to abstain from sex until marriage. I’m all for the sex talk, and actually placed myself in Athena’s shoes as I was listening to her given that my husband and I will one day have this vital conversation with our children. Who knows what they will be exposed to by that time, but I sure want them to be armed with truth and conviction about their bodies and God’s expectations of them. Kudos to all the parents, guardians, aunts/uncles, cousins, neighbors and educators who assume the responsibility for the dialogue with our youth, young-adults and older adults about sex. If we want to see a decrease in the prevalence and incidence of sexually transmitted diseases (especially among persons 15-24 years of age who assume approximately half of the reported HIV cases in the US), then we must initiate the conversation about sex and explore it for more than a solution to illicit fantasies and temporary void fixers. Let’s talk about sex!
July 30, 2014
Thank you so much for listening Julia. I am so glad that you enjoyed the discussion with Athena.
I appreciate all the positive things you’ve said about Athena too. Thank you!
“So strange that people have no issue getting naked with one another and
experimenting with all sorts of materials, positions, and fantasies; but
find it difficult to actually have a healthy talk about sex.”
That is so true and something that baffles me.
Becoming educated about sex is vital for everyone. We definitely need to be enlightened about sex from God’s perspective.
Like you stated, we must start talking about sex!
August 6, 2014
Looking forward to listening to this show! This is most definitely a significant part of parenting, and we all need to take responsibility EARLY to ensure our children define sex through God’s Eyes, not the worlds. Building that strong foundation of values and morals will be the launching ground for their choices. I have had the talk with both of my kids, and I am at peace about their views and perspectives. I will continue to pray with them and discuss issues as they arise in this area.
I learned nothing from my parents about sex. I learned it all from the world. 🙁
August 6, 2014
Hey Chris! How’s it going?
Thank you so much for taking the time to swing by the site and I really hope that you enjoyed the podcast too.
You are so right. This is a topic that must be addressed early so that children can define sex through God’s Eyes and not the worlds.
YES!!! I couldn’t agree with you more.
Whether you realize it or not, you touched on a key benefit of having that discussion with your children. That’s peace.
I’m sure that having that peace has made things so much better on you. Would you agree?
You’re not alone Chris. A lot of us didn’t have our parents to teach us the things that we need to know, especially from God’s perspective.
I am so grateful that you took time out to stop by and share your thoughts and experience with me and the other R.E.A.L. Lovers. Thank you!
Also, everyone who leaves a comment here on the website gets a shout out
on the podcast. So, you can plan to hear your name on an upcoming
episode!