61: How Women Can Overcome Their Fear of Being Alone

A woman who is no longer has a fear of being alone

No one has a desire to be alone, especially women.


The above statement is not a sexist one, I assure you.


It’s based on God’s original purpose for women.


In fact, one of the first purposes that God had for women was to be helpers to men.


Why was this purpose necessary?


In order to keep men from being alone (Read Genesis 2:18 for proof).


Since the conception of mankind, in the mind of God, it has never been His intention for us (men and women) to be alone.


Therefore, I truly believe it is natural for all of us, especially women, to feel a sense of dissatisfaction when we find ourselves alone.


However, we should not allow that feeling to overwhelm us, discourage us or rule over us.




Because that feeling, like nearly everything in this life, is temporary. It will not last forever.


Therefore, ladies, I want you to be encouraged!


Regardless of your current relationship status, you will never be alone in this life.


For one, God is always with you.


Second, there will be people in your life, whether it’s a spouse or not, who you can share yourself with and help.


When it comes to the fear that some women have of being alone, I believe it stems from a widely accepted misconception.


What is that misconception?


That being single, alone and lonely is all the same thing.


Whether you believe that or not, there are quite a few people who do. You may even know some of them.


Today, I would like to shatter that misconception.


For starters, I have made it clear, on several occasions, that being single far surpasses a relationship status.


Being single has to do with being a complete individual who is whole, unique and separate.


If you would like to read more about what it means to truly be single, click here.


So if being single has to do with being a complete individual, what does it mean to be alone?


I’m glad you asked.


After reading and watching a number of teachings from Dr. Myles Munroe, I have come to realize and understand that there are two components to being alone.


The first component is the definition.


By definition, to be alone means to be exclusive, isolated and in a solitary state.


The second component has to do with the root of the word ‘alone’.


If you were to study the word in depth, you would discover that at its root it is actually a combination of words.


Those words are ‘all-in-one’.


Therefore, to be alone essentially means that everything a person has to offer, especially to a spouse and the world as a whole, is being bottled up within them.


They are not in a state where they can take all that God has placed within them and share it with others.


Think about that for a moment…


Who wouldn’t be frustrated and dissatisfied in that state?


That is no way for anyone to live and is precisely the reason why God stated, “…it is not good for the man to be alone.”


Once again ladies, be encouraged by the fact that God has never intended for you, nor anyone else, to be alone indefinitely.


Now, let’s turn our attention towards what it means to be lonely.


Unlike being single and being alone, being lonely is something that we all should desire to avoid.




Because loneliness is a disease.


To be lonely means that a person has a life threatening degree of lack in their lives and they are truly sick.


For one, they don’t have anyone in their lives and have come to a point where they don’t even acknowledge God’s presence and existence as a friend in their lives.


Second, they lack an understanding of who they are, the value they have and their purpose for existing.


Loneliness is a truly tragic state and that is why we all should want to avoid it at all cost.


At this point, you should have a much clearer understanding of what it means to be single, alone and lonely.


Most importantly, you should see the difference between each of them and feel confident enough to share those differences with people you know who may believe they are one in the same…or just click here to tweet them a link to this post.


Also, here is a quick summary of what we’ve explored:


  • Singleness is to be embraced, because it’s something we never want to relinquish, regardless of our relationship status.


  • Time alone is to be taken advantage of, until we reach a point where we can pour what is ‘all-in-us’ into others.


  • Loneliness is to be avoided, at all cost, because it will lead us away from God and His purpose for our lives.


It is my prayer that this post has been a blessing to you. I pray that your eyes have been open, your heart has been receptive and that you’ve learned something new.


I also hope that you are ready and willing to join me on the journey towards embracing your singleness and establishing healthy relationships that will last. If you are, please click here to join the R.E.A.L. Love community.


Now, as if I hadn’t already given you enough to ponder on, chew up and enjoy…I have more!


It is with great honor and pleasure that I share with you an insightful and remarkable discussion I recently had with the one and only Rhonda Britten.


This is a discussion that will positively impact and change the life of any woman (and man) because Rhonda is going to empower and enlighten you on how to overcome your fear of being alone, in a way that only she can!


Thank you so much for reading and enjoy the podcast episode below:



If you would like to read more on Dr. Myles Munroe’s perspective on singleness, please check out his books:


If you know someone who can benefit from this podcast, please share it with them by pressing ‘click to tweet’ below.


[Tweet “How Women Can Overcome Their Fear of Being Alone on @RTRLRadio”]




Episode Title: How Women Can Overcome Their Fear of Being Alone


Guests: Rhonda Britten Follow Her on Twitter


Claim your FREE GIFT from Rhonda – Getting Your Needs Met course


Check out Rhonda’s book Fearless Living


Music: Kierra Sheard – Flaws * Britt Nicole ft. Lecrae – Ready or Not 



  • The feeling you’re afraid to feel will always end up running your life.” – Rhonda Britten


  • “If you don’t know who you are you become invisible to a man, because you’re not bringing anything to the table.” – Rhonda Britten


  • “Not having love in your life is a life that’s devoid of true value and purpose.” – Jay


  • I’ve got to start noticing love everywhere, in order to start recognizing what love really is.” – Rhonda Britten


  • “Instant intimacy is not intimacy.” – Rhonda Britten


Key Lessons:

  • How to overcome the fear of being alone
  • Why you must be willing to take 100% responsibility for your love life
  • The importance of noticing love in every aspect of your life
  • The benefit of taking time to yourself after a break up


Hot Topics & Takeaways:

  • The value in building a relationship with our feelings
  • The crucial difference between being lonely and being alone
  • Rhonda explains the power that forgiveness has on helping you get over a break up


Dangers and Difficulties:

  • The danger of allowing our feelings to run our lives
  • The harm that is caused to ourselves and others when we play the blame game
  • Why you must be cautious about going from relationship to relationship


Experience is the Best Teacher:

  • Rhonda opens up about the event that occurred during her childhood that changed her life
  • Rhonda shares about the healing process she had to go through in order to heal from a lot of the hurt and pain that she experienced throughout her life
  • Rhonda explains the risk of becoming intimate or sharing personal secrets with someone you’re interested in too soon


Fun Times & Stories

  • How granny panties can be a woman’s secret weapon to avoid “scratching the itch”
  • Rhonda shares her custom ringtones that you can use for your ex too! – Click here to get them now!


Apply the Principles:

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  1 John 4:18 (NKJV)


“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)


Show Some Love:

Please leave me a comment or a private message answering the following question:

Have you ever had a fear of being alone?


  • Destiny's Truth
    November 10, 2014

    This blog post is very insightful and encouraging. However, Jay the podcast with Rhonda Britten has caused me to ask what specific issues I have been handling alone that I must contact her and yourself to help resolve. OH MY GOD! The love and healing that I experienced from listening to this podcast I have no words to describe, except WOW! I loved the counseling that Rhonda would give on the television show she was on a number of years ago, and wondered how she was doing. Rhonda is such a force of love and life and experiencing your authenticity, love, humility and desire for us all to know “real love” was just an experience I want to have over and over again. I am now listening to the podcast for the second time and will probably continue to listen again and again, because with the great loss of Dr. Myles Munroe, his wife Ruth and the other precious soul on the plane yesterday, as my heart heavy and I truly need as much soul healing as possible. Thank you Jay for such an extraordinary collaboration. This podcast ranks right up there at the top. May God bless you and Rhonda for giving of yourselves. Love you both!

    • Jay
      November 12, 2014

      Hey Destiny! Thank you so much for taking the time out to read the post and listen to the discussion with Rhonda. I appreciate that more than you know!

      I am so happy that the things Rhonda shared had such an amazing impact on you. You should definitely consider contacting Rhonda. I’m sure that she would love to hear from you.

      Yes, Rhonda truly is an outstanding, passionate and loving force!!!

      Wow! Look at God! I had a feeling this episode would be a life changer for many. I’m glad to hear that it is having such a positive impact on you!

      The loss of Dr. Myles Munroe, his wife Ruth and everyone else on board the plane was such a tragic, sudden and shocking loss.

      Thank you so much for your kind words and continued support.

      God bless you too!

  • Autumn
    November 10, 2014

    I haven’t listened yet because I’ve been single most of my life and greatly enjoyed it. Just never thought of it as a permanent state and still don’t.

    I did read the show notes. Granny panties! Great idea. Granny panties with holes. I usually throw them away but I won’t anymore! I was wondering if a person who is celibate should even kiss or hug on a first date. Or ever. I can give up sex for a time, but kissing?!

    I am very sorry to hear about the loss of Dr. Munroe. Life can be so short. It’s good to know examples of people who live with purpose. We never know when God is going to call us home.

    • Jay
      November 12, 2014

      Hey Autumn! Thank you so much for swinging by and sharing your thoughts with me.

      I really hope that you enjoy the podcast episode, it truly is a great one!

      That’s a great question you pose about the kissing and hugging. I’ve noticed that the position people take on that differs. I personally believe it has to do with each individuals triggers. If you know kissing and hugging can’t be done without tempting you to do more, then you may want to think twice about engaging in it. However, everyone is different and must make their own choices.

      Yes, I was truly shocked and hurt to hear about Dr. Munroe’s passing too. However, I have found peace and solace in the fact that it was his time. He fulfilled his purpose, this world and millions (possibly billions) of lives will be changed by the work he did while he was hear. I know that I am a living testament to that for sure.

      You’re right Autumn. It is so important for us to use our time wisely, by working each day towards fulfilling the purpose God placed within each of us.

      • Autumn
        November 13, 2014

        I did listen to the podcast. Very interesting stuff! What stayed with me most was Rhonda’s sharing about her family. It is a reminder that how you first learn about love and relationships follows you a long time.

        Oh, no, kissing might be a trigger for me! But gosh, it’s so much fun. 🙂 At least I’m aware of it. But I’m all for granny panties with holes and never seeing the inside of one another’s home for a LONG time. If I can keep to that, I’ll stay on track.

        I am glad to hear that Dr. Munroe had such a profound effect on you and others. This is what we can do with life, I suppose. Really help people you might not ever even meet. That’s what it’s all about, finding one’s purpose.

        • Jay
          November 14, 2014

          Thank you so much for listening Autumn. I truly appreciate that.

          Yes, I appreciate Rhonda being so transparent and sharing so much of her experience with all of us. Like you stated, it truly is a reminder of how many of us first learn about love and relationships.

          LOL! That’s real! Kissing is definitely fun…especially with the right person.

          That’s great that you know how to keep yourself on track. That’s half of the battle right there.

          Thank you Autumn. He truly has and continues to have a profound effect on my life and the lives of so many others too. There is no doubt about that.

          So true…it all boils down to us discovering and fulfilling our purpose. That is why each of us is here and why God placed each of us here.

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